Some examples of what I would describe as Sissy Pyjamas

A comment was left that suggested they considered Baby-Doll pyjamas as sissy nightwear. I know plenty of people would agree but for me they are not. Sissy pyjamas as far as I am concerned, should make the pyjamaed male appear ridiculous and infantile.After being forcibly dressed in such a demeaning way, it is entirely suitable that assembled females should seek to humiliate and degrade the male until he is firmly under their control.

An Appointment with Matron

Although Philip was wearing his warmest winceyette pyjamas, it wasn’t the draught in the corridor that made him shiver, no. It was the stomach-churning anticipation of what was to come.
As a senior boy, he knew Matron would not be in a forgiving mood about their flagrant breach of the rules.

It had been humiliating to be made to change into pyjamas and slippers as if they were first-year squirts, everyone in the senior dorm had witnessed their embarrassment as Matron stood and watched them remove their uniforms and don their pyjamas.

How long was it since she had marched them both down to stand and wait outside her room, twenty, thirty minutes? He didn't know. It felt like a very long time until she had opened her door and beckoned Godfrey inside. 

From behind the door he could hear the rhythmic thwack of Mrs Knight’s cane. He counted to four when he first heard Godfrey react, “owww!”

The next strike of her cane brought forth more of a canine yelp. The sixth stroke was when Godfrey finally gave up the pretence of being brave and emitted a full blown sob.

Matron's door opened. Unable to look directly at his friend, Godfrey slithered quickly out, but not so quick that Philip failed to notice his friend's tear-stained face. 

Philip just had time to witness the pyjama clad figure scurry down the corridor clutching frantically at his chastised bottom before Mrs Knight appeared.

“Come in please Master Philip.” It always meant unpleasantness when Matron used that particular prefix, emphasising a junior status.

“I can’t tell you how disappointed I am that you, a senior boy and a prefect to boot, should have behaved in such a manner. Luckily PJ had the good sense to come and tell me what you two were up to.” 

Suddenly it was all clear. Tradman! The swine, he thought, just you wait. 

Matron continued her lecture. “I hold you entirely responsible for this escapade Philip, there is no way Godfrey would have behaved in this fashion without your influence. Therefore your punishment must be harsher.”

She was aware of his nervousness and paused for a moment to study his reaction to her admonishment before sitting herself down on her chair. She patted her lap, “over you go please Philip.”

At first, he didn’t comprehend her meaning until she spoke again, this time more sharply.
“Philip! Over my lap, now boy.” Nervously, he took two steps forward and found himself lying across her lap.

“I thought you were a sensible mature boy Philip, someone who could be trusted and yet I discover you were involved in a most immature escapade. Therefore I have decided to punish you as I would a first-year, with an over the knee slipper spanking, a case of the punishment fitting the crime as it were.”

“Nnnn..no… matron please..” he stuttered as he lay helpless across her ample lap. 
Mrs Knight picked up her fur-trimmed spanking slipper, circling his pyjamaed bottom with her palm searching for the optimum position to begin his spanking. Philip tensed his buttocks, wishing fervently that he was being caned instead of this demeaning spanking.

Her slipper made contact with his bottom only four times before he began flailing his legs in reaction to the hurt. However, years of slipper spanking experience gave Mrs Knight the advantage and she altered the position of her left arm to maintain her firm grip before repeating the dose. By now, he was yelling, weeping and promising to be a good boy in future. She stopped. Philip felt a sense of relief even though he was breathing heavily, his heart racing as he lay draped forlornly across her lap. 

Then, much to his horror, he felt matron pulling at the cord of his pyjamas then tugging them down to reveal his bare bottom.

“Not very red at all Philip." I must be losing my touch. Let’s see if I can make your bottom blush as much as your face shall I?”

For the next five minutes, Mrs Knight spanked, paused to lecture, spanked and paused again. His slippers flew off and the legs of his pyjama bottoms flapped wildly as his pleas for her to stop reached full volume. Her hand gently circled his very red, very sore bare bottom. “There, that’s much better isn’t it?” she asked without expecting a reply.

“Right, up you get Philip.” As he rolled off her lap and stood, his pyjama bottoms puddled at his feet. Quickly, he raised them to his waist, his fingers fumbled with the tie-cord. 

“Allow me.” Matron maintained eye contact with him as she grasped the pyjama cord. Her arms encircled his body and as she drew them back together, she made sure to enclose the hem of his pyjama jacket inside the pyjama bottoms before she fastened the cord into a double bow.

“Much more little boy like,” she commented before reminding him to repossess his slippers.

Unlike Godfrey, who had been allowed to scamper tearfully away on his own, matron escorted Philip all the way back to his dormitory. Godfrey had already washed his tear-stained face and dressed, ready for the refectory and only his somewhat awkward gait gave a hint of what had befallen him. 

PJ Tradman was loitering there too, although Philip was trying to conceal his tear-streaked face he could have sworn he saw him smirk as he passed. Philip picked up his towel and made to head for the cloakroom and the sanctuary of the showers.

Mrs Knight halted him by grabbing at the collar of his pyjama jacket. “No you don’t Philip, you will attend the refectory dressed in your pyjamas and slippers just as first-year pupils do who have been slipper-spanked, furthermore you will continue to do so for the next two days.” 

He could hardly comprehend her words, the shame of appearing in the refectory in his pyjamas and slippers like a naughty first year was going to be disastrous for his image with the sixth form girls.

Matron continued, “since you have behaved like a little boy I have no option other than to treat you like one. Therefore your official bedtime for the next three days will also mimic that of the first years.”

Philip couldn’t believe it, an eight o’clock bedtime for three nights, oh the shame!

Mummy Knows Best. A mother imposes a strict regime on her eighteen year old son

‘Come to mummy pet lamb. Why? Because it’s six o’clock, time for you to get ready for beddy-byes. Yes I know your usual bedtime on Saturday is seven o’clock but your sister wants you safely tucked up in your cot so she can enjoy the rest of her party. It’s time to get you into your bedtime nap-naps. No, you can’t go to the nursery to get undressed. Don’t be silly. No one is looking at you. You looked very sweet in your lovely party outfit when you were dancing with the girls. Of course, you enjoyed it. Now, turn around so mummy can undo the buttons on your blouse, yes ok we can call it a shirt if you want. That’s it, yes it would be impossible for you to undo the buttons all by yourself, that’s why mummy chose it for you, no, the puffed sleeves aren't sissy, I bet real sailors wear them like this too, no silly-billy yellow is not just a girls colour.


Hands off! Mummy will undo the eyelets on your velvet shorts, goodness knows how messy your hands are you need a good bath. Well, I think yellow and pink do go together, and all the girls agreed, didn’t they all take your picture and film you dancing? Yes, they did. Tut, you’ve even managed to get your white pelerine socks grubby as well, what a naughty boy you are. Feet up, these yellow Mary Jane shoes matched your blouse…. I mean shirt, perfectly. I think you will be wearing your new party outfit to church on Sunday.

Now that’s enough! I won’t be spoken to like that by a little boy.  I will take you to church dressed how I like, it’s nothing to do with you. Do you want to go over my lap?

I thought not, oh dear, tears before bedtime again, you really are a cry-baby aren’t you. Shush, dry your eyes and hug teddy for a moment, there’s a clever boy. See, you’re totally naked and no one is looking, none of the girls would be interested in such a little boy, no girl will ever be interested in my babykins I can assure you. Up we go.

Come along, into the bathtub, yes you do need to take a bath silly. Mummy wants you to be nice and clean for beddy-byes. The water is not too cold, don’t be such a baby. There all the suds are rinsed off you can open your eyes now. Hold still while mummy washes your tiny tinkle, ah-ah, you know that’s not allowed. Do you want mummy to lock it up again? Then behave. Out you come.

Now mummy wants you to lie down on your favourite pink baby blanket. Well, the girls may not notice you. Now, lift up. Yes you do need to wear nappies for bedtime, do I need to remind you about this morning? Well then.

Here’s the tub of cream, mummy is going to make sure you don’t get a nappy rash by rubbing the cream all over you. There, that feels nice doesn’t it, now for the talcy powder. Whee… down it goes just like a snowstorm. Hmmm... don't you smell nice?


Nappy time! It’s nappy time darling. Now then, you know what happens when you pull a face like that, a grumpy face is a naughty face in this house, if the girls want to come and watch mummy nappy her babykins they’re more than welcome. Anyone of them could be babysitting you soon babykins so they need to learn. 

Now, upsy baby. That’s it, your nappy liner is in place now mummy can now bring the corners together and pin the nappy together. These three, soft fluffy flannelette nappies will feel lovely and snugly once mummy has pinned you into them. Yes, you do need three towelling nappies and the pink plastic nursery pants, see the little teddy-bears printed on the pants, they look just like your teddy bear don’t they?

Now keep still, you still need your plastic pants on. You know why they stop the wee-wee from leaking, you’re such a wetter aren’t you? Yes, you are. On they go, one leggy-weggy and now the other leggy-weggy. There now, babykins is all nappied. Tickle-tickle babykins ha-ha. Oops, I better stop, we don’t want those clean nap-naps soiled straightway do we? No, we don’t.

Now babykins, tell mummy what pair of jimmy-jams you want to wear. What’s that? The blue ones with the choo-choo trains on? You know full well those are your big boy pyjamas. You aren’t allowed big boy pj’s at the moment, are you? 

Since you can’t be sensible mummy will choose for you. Yes, I know you are eighteen- years- old but if you insist on behaving like a baby mummy will have to continue to treat you like one.
Now let me see, yes, I think the yellow flannel pyjamas with the little lambs on your sister bought you will be just right. Pardon? Because at fourteen your sister is far more mature than it seems you will ever be. That’s why she is permitted to choose your pyjamas, now let me button you into your pyjama jacket. I don’t care if it is uncomfortable, the top button remains fastened and I will tie the neck ribbon into a gorgeous big pink bow to show off the pretty Peter-Pan collar.

There now, don’t you look sweet my pet lamb? Well, I don’t care if you don’t like the frilly lacy cuffs on your jim-jams, mummy likes them and that is all that matters. Slippers on, yes I know they are babyish but you need to keep your tootsies cosy too don’t you. Hold tightly onto teddy and give me your other hand. Yes, you are going to bed, very soon but your sister and her friends will want to see her big brother in his nappies and jammies first won’t she? Let’s take you outside, shall we?

“Wait a moment while I tuck your cute jammie top into your plastic baby pants. Yes, I know that makes you look silly and babyish but mummy wants the girls to get a good view of you in your nappies and plastic pants. Come with mummy, good boy, don’t your plastic pants make a lovely rustling sound when you toddle Babykins? It’s because you have three fluffy white nap-naps on, the bulky material makes you walk like that, goodness you do ask a lot of questions don’t you. I know, mummy will pop your dummy in and you can be quiet for a little while, you love your dummy don’t you, mummy will pin your dummy onto your jammies so you won’t lose it, there we go, now, open wide Babykins.

That’s better, some peace and quiet. Look, here comes your sister Melissa and her friend Harriet to see you. What’s that behind Melissa’s back, can you guess? It’s teddy! 
Isn’t that kind of your sister to bring her older brother his cuddle bear to take to beddy-byes? 

Naughty baby! Don’t ever throw teddy away like that again. You know what happens when you have baby tantrums, don’t you? What a scene you’re making in front of the girls, throwing teddy away and spitting out your dummy. Well, mummy knows how to deal with naughty babies. 

Yes, there is a red mark where mummy slapped your leg. Now I want you to go and pick teddy up, go on. Now, tell teddy you are very sorry for throwing him away and give him a big kiss. No, kiss him again, I want to see a big sloppy kiss, that’s better. Now tell teddy you love him in a big loud voice so we can all hear you, in your baby voice mind. Well-done Babykins.

Girls, that was very unkind, there was no need for you all to snigger like that, although it was funny wasn’t it? Babykins, as punishment for your disgraceful behaviour you will stand on your naughty stool so we can see what a naughty boy you are. I will use the pink ribbons to tie your dum-dum into place so you can’t throw it away in a baby tantrum.

Have you calmed down now? I should hope so too. Say sorry to your sister, don’t whisper, yes I know it’s difficult to speak with your dummy tied in but you can try.

Yes, it did sound like “sowwy” didn’t it Melissa? He does speak like a baby when he has his dummy in. What, make him use his dummy all the time? That is a good idea, Melissa.

Your sister is right Babykins. You’re obviously overtired and you need to go straight to beddy-byes. Melissa, pass me his jammie bottoms, will you? Yes, you’re right Harriet, they are babyish for an eighteen-year-old but you’ve seen how he behaves. I’m afraid he will never learn to be a good boy so he’ll be mummy’s little baby for a long time yet.

Come along baby, hold on to mummy’s shoulder to balance, that’s a good Babykins, put your left leg in first, no don’t shake it all about, well done, now the other, clever boy. Yes I know your jim-jam bottoms are too big for you, mummy had them made like that on purpose. What’s that? Well maybe you do look silly in oversized jammies but mummy has her reasons and I am sure none of the girl's minds what naughty babies look like in their pyjamas, do you, girls?

They think you look all cuddly-wuddly weddy for beddy-byes. Don’t you think so Harriet? 
See, everyone thinks so except you, and your opinion doesn’t count in this household does it Babykins? 

No, hands off! Never mind what the ribbons sewn to the side of your pyjama bottoms are for, they are for mummy to know and baby to find out about.

Oh dear not tears again, what a crybaby you are. Very well then, I’ll tell you. Remember why mummy replaced your bed with your lovely new cot? You kept getting out of bed after mummy had put you down for the night, didn’t you? Yes, I know you think “theven” o’clock is too early a bedtime for you but mummy knows best and your special cot stopped all that nonsense, didn’t it?

But what happens now? Baby cannot be trusted not to remove his jammies once he is tucked up in beddy-byes and mummy worries that he will catch a chill. So will you promise to keep your jammies on for mummy Babykins?

It’s all very well saying, yeth mummy, but I don’t think you are being truthful at all, so mummy is going to put your handy-pandies into these lovely soft lambswool mittens that your sister knitted for you. Isn’t Melissa a generous sister to her older brother?

No good shaking your head, Babykins, it’s bedtime mittens for you from now on. See how the yellow wool matches your jim-jams. 

Why Harriet thank you, I didn’t realise you could knit too. A pink set of mittens would be lovely, yes he has some pink jammies so they would be perfect.

Say thank you to Melissa and Harriet Babykins, a big hug and a kiss each I think, good Babykins. Yes, fank oo Mewissa and Howwiett, was a good attempt wasn’t it girls.

Handy-pandies please, that’s it, yes all your fingers are squished together, that’s the idea of the mittens you silly goose, now put your arms by your sides, that’s it. See, now I can tie your wrists to your pyjamas, yes, that’s what the ribbons are for. Perfect!

Now Babykins, time to give your sister her birthday present. Yes, that’s puzzled you hasn’t it. No, I know you aren’t allowed to have any money anymore but you still have something to give her, you’ll never guess. Shall I tell you? It’s your bottom!

Melissa wanted to give you your bedtime spanking as your present to her and how could I refuse, especially as she will be babysitting you soon. 

Tears again! But she hasn’t started yet. Yes sit on that chair Melissa and take him across your lap. Use both hands to pull him tightly onto your lap, that’s it. You see with his hands down by his side he can’t struggle. Now put your right leg across both of his legs and drag them toward yourself using your heel, well done!

Now you can pick up the paddle and begin. Oh stop whimpering, It can hardly hurt Babykins, after all, you are wearing thick towelling nappies, plastic baby pants and heavy flannel pyjamas.

Keep going Melissa, I know, it does tire your arm, take a rest. Pull him toward you again and don’t forget to scold him while you’re spanking. Tell him what a naughty little Babykins he is. That’s it, excellent stop now if you’re tired.

No, Melissa, I don’t think Harriet can take a turn at spanking your brother, perhaps another time. I think our eighteen-year-old baby needs putting to beddy-byes, don’t you?

Wave night-night to the girl’s Babykins. Good boy, mummy will bring teddy. Careful now, I know your pyjamas bottoms are too long but if you fall over mummy will make you crawl upstairs like the little baby you are. I know it's hard to balance with your handy-pandies tied to your side but do your best. That’s it, into the nursery. Yes I know it is very dark in here, all the better to help you sleep, my dear.

Mummy will just check your dummy is properly tightly tied in place otherwise you just spit it out, don’t you? Too late for promises I am afraid, now hold still while I tie the ribbon behind your head a bit tighter that's it. Breathe slowly and your dum-dum will bob in and out and you will soon get used to it and the rhythmic action will calm you and help you to sleep.

I’ll just lower this rail and mummy just has to give Babykins a little push and he topples straight into his cot, in you go. No, I’ve told you, babies don’t have pillows just lie still. Now you will know why mummy made your jammie bottoms so long. See, I just tie the excess material together and your footsies will be as helpless as your handy-pandies. Mummy can be certain you will be staying safely tucked up in your cot pinned snugly into your nappies, wearing your mittens and baby lamb jammies.

Mummy will tuck you in good and tight and snugly. Babykins won’t be getting out of beddy-byes tonight, will he? Now, shall I tuck teddy in beside you? Don't you want your teddy? Well, mummy thinks teddy will be sad to find Babykins doesn't love teddy anymore so mummy is going to tuck teddy beside you in any case.

What’s that? Mummy can’t make out what her eighteen-year-old baby is trying to say. You don't want to be mummy's baby anymore? That's a shame because mummy can't imagine you not being her Babykins. Mummy thinks you will be her Babykins for a very long time yet. Now, you just gurgle away babyishly while mummy sits with you until you fall fast asleep. 

Can you hear the girls outside playing and laughing while you are tucked up in bed? You can, good. Now Babykins must go to sleepy-byes.”
Is my pet lamb awake? Of course, he is. Look who’s here to see you? Yes, it’s Melanie your old girlfriend! How sweet, mummy loves to hear you gurgling away from behind your dummy. I’ve decided to keep him permanently in nappies, so much easier to cope with his babyish behaviour. When he has one of his tantrums, I just put him over my lap, spank him, then pop him nappied into the cot. As you can see he is confined in his cot for as long as I want him to be. Mummy’s Babykins has lovely long sleepy-byes doesn’t he? Yes, he does.

No need to blush pet lamb, Melanie knows what a big baby you are. Yes, the mittens and the hand restraints were his sister’s idea. We were so tired of him getting out of beddy-byes without permission that she devised this method to keep him tucked into bed.

Ha-ha don't you like mummy tickling under your chin?  Do you know, I think the excitement of seeing you has made Babykins wet his nappy? Let me see.
Naughty baby! Now mummy is very cross and will have to punish you. Hold still while I remove your jammie bottoms, that’s it. Thank you, Melanie, just pull the bows and his hands will be free, now, out you come onto the changing table.

Of course, you can Melanie, I don’t mind at all if you change Babykins. Oh for goodness sake not more crying, see what a baby he is Melanie? No, leave his mittens on. That’s right, clean him thoroughly Melanie; no it doesn’t matter if it hurts and he whimpers. Baby must be taught a lesson. Hush Melanie must learn if she is going to babysit you. Never mind shaking your head, mummy knows what’s best for her little Babykins.

Lie still! Or mummy will fetch the hairbrush, is that what you want? I thought not. Clean nappies are behind you, Melanie. Yes, nice and tight. Here let me pin them, no don’t worry, the tighter the better. Yes, those plastic pants are fine. No, it’s quite easy to buy such babyish prints in his size.

Babykins, say thank you to Melanie for changing your nappies for you, come along.

Pardon? Babykins! How rude. I am going to have to punish you for that outburst, you naughty baby. Over you go, no point in struggling, you know mummy is far stronger than her little eighteen-year-old baby.

Spank! Tell Melanie you’re a vewy sowwy Babykins, yes in your best baby voice. Say it!

Spank! Say, I love wearing my fluffy white nappies, Louder!

Spank! Tell Melanie you would love her to babysit you and tuck you into your cot at beddy-bye time.

Spank! Now promise to be mummy’s Babykins forever and ever. Clever boy

See, now we’ve had tears before breakfast time, dry those eyes and let’s get you downstairs for brekky-weccy shall we?

Of course, you haven’t seen the highchair before have you, Melanie? No, not specially made at all. They used to make them big like this years ago for older children who were fussy eaters and luckily I came across this example. As Babykins isn’t very tall he easily fits into it. Pink? Oh yes, Melissa insisted we paint it pink. Lift him up Melanie, that’s it and swing the tray across. There’s a brass catch you have to click into place...that’s it. There, Babykins is all secure in his highchair ready for his brekkies.

Melanie will fasten your bib on. Yes, you must wear a bib, you know what a mess you make. Pass me that bowl will you Melanie? I know, but it is very good for him. 

Babykins, I wish you would stop fidgeting. Sit still while mummy feeds you your breakfast. What do you mean you don’t like stewed prunes and cold custard? You have it every morning.

Yes, I know Melanie and I are having grown up food. Ha-Ha. no. you aren’t a grown up. How could you be? Sitting in your highchair wearing nappies, pink plastic baby pants and a towelling bib with a ducky-wucky on it.

Now open wide for the choo-choo train, wider.. and in it goes. Stop making that face it’s very good for you. Melanie, would you like to continue feeding your ex-boyfriend? I am sure he would appreciate that.

Yes that’s it, if he turns away just hold his chin and squeeze, his mouth will open and you can push the spoon in, that’s it. Don’t worry about the spillage, just scrape it off his face and bib and spoon it back in. He knows he has to clear the dish before he can leave his high chair. 

Come along babykins, just two more spoonfuls. There, all gone. Clever Babykins. Take his bib off now Melanie, just wipe his face with it and then with this damp cloth. Goodness, what a messy eater you are Babykins! Yes, it is just like having a real baby Melanie, although this one's eighteen!
Come along Babykins, down you come, that’s it, straight onto your knees like the baby you are. Now crawl over to the dresser and we shall get you dressed for your outing. Yes, that’s right. We’re going to take you on a lovely trip to the park to see the quack-quacks, aren't you a lucky baby? Now then, what shall we dress baby in for his outing today? 

Why don’t we let Melanie choose Babykins, I am sure you will love anything your old girlfriend chooses for you to wear won’t you sugar plum? Yes, all his baby clothes are in there, yes any drawer, pick anything you like.

Oh how sweet, baby’s pink bunny-rabbit footed onesie. He does look ever so cute wearing that particular one. Yes, I agree, it is lovely and babyish.

Babykins look at the lovely outfit Melanie has chosen for you. Ha-ha, certainly you can wear your jammies outside, you’re just a baby so no-one cares. See how he excited he is at your choice, Melanie? He just loves wearing his jammies, don’t you, my little diddums?

Ah-ah, naughty Babykins, down on all fours again unless you want yet another smacked botty? I thought not. No, they’re tears of joy, or they better be...

I think it would be easier if Babykins was put onto his changing mat. That’s much easier isn’t it? Hold still while Melanie puts your footsies in first. Make sure his tootsies go all the way into the padded foot, good. Now feel how soft his jim-jams are against his skin, they will keep him nice and cosy-wosy. Won’t they my precious?

That’s it, now get his arms in. Behave Babykins! Yes, you can punish him too if he doesn’t do as he is told, my dear. Stop fussing or you will go across Melanie’s lap do you hear? That’s better. Stop flapping the sleeves Babykins. Yes I know they are too long, I made them like that so you could grow into them. Maybe other eighteen-year-olds don't have to wear baby pyjamas, but their mummies don’t have eighteen-year-old sons who behave like babies and need to be spanked for misbehaviour! 

Wasn’t that sweet of Melanie to pick your going-outfit for you Babykins?  I want you to give her a big hug, go on. Oh, dear Babykins, that wasn’t a very enthusiastic hug, was it?  If you don't start being more babyish and affectionate mummy might think about returning Babykins to the nursery full time. Do you want to go back into the nursery and spend all day in your cot or playpen and being pushed around the garden taking naps in your pram? I thought not. Now hug Melanie again and thank her properly for choosing your baby jimmy-jams. I want to hear you using your sweetest lisping baby voice, come along. Yes, that was much better, mummy expects you to be sweet and affectionate to every female who fuss over you, or else!

Melissa, have you got your baby brother’s pushchair ready? Good girl. See how well behaved and sensible your sister is. I beg your pardon Babykins? Does she act like a baby? No, because she is a girl that’s why. All males of any age are babies, that’s why you have a bedtime and have to wear baby outfits. Well if you think you look silly you only have yourself to blame but we all think you look really sweet in your onesie.

Now, get into your pushchair and Melissa will help put your mittens on. Oh yes, you are wearing them Babykins, I am not having you catch a chill, they will keep your handy-pandies warm and cosy In any case, your sister made them especially for today.

Babykins! Apologise at once. That’s it; a big kiss for your younger sister, you should be ashamed of yourself after all her hard work to make you those lovely mittens.

Yes Melanie, strap him in. Somehow I don’t think your brother would be running away dressed as he is but we wouldn’t want him to fall out and injure himself would we?

No, Teddy isn’t coming with us today; I thought Mr Flopsy would be a better choice since Melanie’s mummy gave him to you. Besides Mr Flopsy complements your bunny jammies; yes Mr Flopsy has to come with us so none of your tantrums. Now, mummy will pull up the plastic cover, so if you sit quietly and hug Mr Flopsy, no one will take any notice of you sitting in your pushchair. All anyone will see is baby out with mummy and his big sisters. All ready? Off we go.

Isn’t it a lovely day to visit the park Babykins? Tut what a naughty thing to say, are you missing Teddy, never mind, you just hug Mr Flopsy until we reach the duck pond.                                                                                                                                                                                            
Look Babykins, there are Melanie and her mummy waiting for us. Let me just move the rain cover. Ha-ha, It’s no good trying to hide behind your bunny Babykins, we can all see you.

Say hello to Melanie’s mummy Babykins, don’t mumble, say hello to Aunty properly like a good boy. That’s better. Yes they are adorable, aren’t they?  I don’t think Babykins likes his bunny rabbit pyjamas too much but mummy does and that’s the main thing. Isn’t that right my pet lamb, oh a little sulky are we? Perhaps the cat got your tongue?

Now then, why don’t we get you out of your pushchair so you can feed the quack-quacks? Yes, people may well see you in your jim-jams but if you don’t get out of that pushchair this minute people will see mummy put you over her knee and taking your jammies down to smack your little bottom. I thought that would make you change your mind, out you come. Take your bag of breadcrumbs and walk to the edge. Careful now. Melanie, take his hand thank you. We don’t want Babykins falling in now, do we?

Well, the duckies won’t come if you don’t call to them pet lamb. Why don’t you pretend you are a duck? How to ducks talk Babykins, yes they go quack-quack don’t they. You call to them, louder Babykins. Here they come, throw the breadcrumbs Babykins.  Keep shouting quack-quack, it’s so funny. Clever boy.

What's that you say, girls? Yes, a walk around the pond seems a splendid idea.
Did you enjoy feeding the ducks Babykins? No? I can’t imagine why not. There’s no pleasing you sometimes Babykins. Come along and take mummy's hand, we are off for a stroll.
Yes, you will walk, because mummy says so that’s why. Right, Babykins I warned you, over to that park bench.
Stop struggling; you are only drawing attention to yourself. You are lucky I am not taking down your jim-jams and nappy and giving you a bare bottom spanking.

Spank! Naughty Babykins will walk in the park in his bunny rabbit jim-jams if mummy says so!

Spank! Babykins does not answer mummy back!

Spank! Babykins will learn that mummy makes all his decisions even if he is eighteen!

Spank! Mummy is going to make an example of you once and for all!

Up you get onto the park bench. Yes, stand up there. Stop crying and do as you are told. Yes, no doubt you do feel foolish standing up there in your bunny slippers and pyjamas but mummy hasn’t started yet. Stand still and listen, no, don’t you dare get down. Now Babykins you are going to perform the teapot song all the way through with all the actions. Never mind you won’t. You will, or I will send you to nursery school for a whole week where Mrs Foster will be in charge of you, oh yes, believe me, I would. I thought that would make you think, remember what happened the last time Mrs Foster had you under her control

Come along the sooner you start the sooner you can get down.
One, two, three.
I’m a little teapot, short and stout
Here is my handle here is my spout  Hand on your hip Babykins
When I get all steamed up, hear me shout
Just tip me over and pour me out!   Lean over, arm like a spout Babykins

I’m a clever teapot, yes it’s true
Here’s an example of what I can do 
I can change my handle to my spout  Switch arms Babykins
Just tip me over and pour me out.

Well done Babykins! You have never performed it better and luckily Melanie's mummy caught it all on camera so we can enjoy it all over again. Down you come and mummy will put your mittens back on. No, you can’t go back into your pushchair, you need some exercise.
That’s it hold tight to mummy and Melanie’s hand and we will walk all the way back to their house. 

Here we are. Are you tired after your walk Babykins? Of course, you are.
We have a surprise for you Babykins, Melanie is going to take you for a lovely warm bath and get you all ready for bye-byes. Oh yes, she is. She will bathe you, dress you in some clean jim-jams and put you to bed. Yes, that’s right you are going to spend the night here. What’s the matter Babykins? Don’t you want to spend time with your ex-girlfriend? Well, you will have to get used to it. Melanie is going to be helping mummy and your sister to make sure you are constantly supervised as our Babykins, what a lucky Babykins you are!

My, we have had a lot of tears today, We really should get you to bed earlier. Well really it’s not up to you is it Babykins. I suggest that a new five o’clock bedtime would be more appropriate from now on, is that agreed girls? Good, it’s unanimous. Your days will consist of being fed your meals sitting in your high-chair, napping in the garden on your blankie when weather permits, going for walks in your pushchair and then home in time to be bathed then tucked up in your cot, goodness after your busy days Babykins will be all tired out by five o'clock won't he? We will keep you dressed in nappies and jammies permanently from now on Babykins and tuck you up at five every night without fail. Your sister and your ex-girlfriend will find you much easier to manage that way.

Hush now don’t get upset, here is your dummy to calm you while Melanie makes up your baby bottle. You will soon get used to your new life of baby routine, you can look forward to being mummy’s Babykins for a long time to come!'

Pyjama Prisoner

I feel as if I have just been released from some penal pyjama prison after being guarded by two mature female warders who ensured I was their pyjama clad inmate. In reality, I spent a few weeks at my aunt's house recuperating from my latest bout of illness. Throughout my visit, my aunt and Mrs Jacobson contrived to keep me permanently attired in pyjamas. As you can imagine this was particularly embarrassing when their daily teatime visitors called at four pm.

I was forced to sit with the ladies wearing whatever nightwear had been allotted to me that day., if outdoors I had a tartan blanket tucked around me but indoors I was made to sit in female company wearing the pyjamas that had been chosen for me. Once the ladies had left, it was time for my daily bath, naturally supervised and perpetrated by Mrs Jacobson. Once I had been bathed I was put into clean pyjamas ready for my six-thirty bedtime as my aunt has decided my frequent illnesses are caused by a lack of sleep. Subsequently, she amended my bedtime to ensure I received at least thirteen hours in bed each day seven days a week. My two warders maintained strictly to their methods and my bedtime was always adhered to despite my pleadings to be allowed to stay up late until seven pm. Indeed on occasion, Mrs Jacobson would put me across her lap for a bedtime spanking to remind me that I was a "naughty little boy".

It's good to be home.

Monday Pyjamas

Tuesday Pyjamas

Wednesday Pyjamas

Thursday Pyjamas

Friday Pyjamas

Saturday Pyjamas

Sunday Pyjamas