This happened when I was about 11. It was the summer, just after dinner (around 6:30) and went to call on a friend of mine, who was also 11. When his mother answered the door I asked if Tony could come out to play. She said that he could not come out to play, but it would be alright if I wanted to come in a play for a little bit. She invited me into the living room and told me he was just finishing up his evening bath and he would be out in a few minutes.
I did not think anything of it considering that perhaps he had come home from playing ball and was particularly dirty. I too sometimes took baths in the early evening, but if it was not my bedtime yet I simply put on clean clothes. So imagine my surprise when Tony came out wearing pajamas.
Now these were not the type of flannel pajamas you seem to prefer in your stories, but rather the really thin lightweight striped kind. He slowly came out to me and clearly he was a little embarrassed to be in his pajamas already. Also, unlike your stories, I could clearly see that he was wearing white briefs beneath his pajama pants as they were clearly visible underneath the thin fabric. The sight caused me mixed emotions. On the one hand I felt embarrassed for him, but on the other, I like the feeling of superiority it gave me with him in his pajamas, his undies visible underneath, at 6:30 and me fully clothed. I knew I would feel juvenile and weak if I was the one in my pajamas and I think he felt that way too as he clearly looked embarrassed to be seen like that by me. I kept catching him subconsciously pulling on his t-shirt to get it to come down over his waist to hide his see through pajama pants, but the shirt barely came down to his waist.
He quickly started making excuses about his pajamas like it was all his idea, but clearly he was in his pajamas at his mother's orders. Anyway, we finally decided to play a board game and we both lay on the floor. I still remember to this day how pathetic he looked with his thin pajamas pulled tight across his backside so that I could clearly see his tighty whities. It was almost like he was wearing nothing but his underwear in front of me.
Well, at 7 o'clock, his mother came in and said something to him in Spanish (they were Cuban I think and I didn't speak any Spanish). Tony immediately looked pale and started to plead with his mother in Spanish. I had no idea what they were talking about, but clearly he was upset. Tony was clearly begging with mother and his mother was clearly starting to lose her patience.
Finally Tony looked at me and I could see tears welling in his eyes. He choked back as he voice creaked and asked me to help him put the game away as he had to go to bed. As he admitted this to me I saw a tear streak down his cheek. Again I had mixed emotions. I felt so sorry for him to be humiliated like that in front of me by his mother, but at the same time, I felt so great at knowing that my friend was being sent to bed at 7PM knowing I did not have to go to bed until about 10PM. It was after all summer time.
I helped him put the game away and then He walked me to the door. As I turned to say goodbye, my eyes could not help but drift down to his thin pajamas. I felt a tingling in my groin that I did not understand at the time. I know know that it came from the feeling of sexual dominance that comes from knowing you are better, stronger, higher up in the pack hierarchy than a potential rival. I was an alpha who got to stay up later and did not have to entertain my friends in thin pajamas and then admit to them I had to go to bed at 7PM.
I suppose I should have been kind and just said goodnight, but curiosity got the best of me. I asked him if he was being punished. I thought that maybe she discover something that led to the early bed time while we were playing our game. He shook his head no and simply admitted that he had a 7PM bedtime. He was hoping that by my coming over he would have been granted an extension, but no luck. He looked at me tears streaming down his cheeks and asked me not to tell anyone else about his early bedtime. After all, we were best friends and this should be our secret. I agreed. Somewhere deep inside me I wanted to hug him, to tell him it was OK and that some boys just needed more sleep than others and he had nothing to be ashamed of, but I didn't. I simply turned and walked away.
About three weeks later, he came to my house looking for me to come out and play. It was 10AM, but I was still in my pajamas. In the past, I would have run to my room to get dressed before allowing him in, but this time, I opened the door and let him see me in my pajamas. We played for about a half and hour, me in my pajamas with him fully clothed. Although I wasn't being subjected to an early bedtime, I felt it helped even us out a little. You see, I also had the same paper thin practically see through polyester pajamas as he did, except I wasn't wearing any underwear. I can only imagine what he saw and what he thought. A part of me wanted to invite him up to my room to 'keep me company' while I got dressed but I chickened out. Either way I guess we were even at that point. Inviting him up to my room would have put him ahead, but who knows what that would have led to. Anyway, there were no further pajama incidents after that and this adventure was forgotten, at least it was forgotten until I read your blog.
Saturday, 30 July 2016
Sunday, 24 July 2016
Saturday, 16 July 2016
First Punishment By Luc Holly. Boys are bed punished by younger female cousins and sisters.
When I arrived for the first time with Tantie, when I was 18 years, I did not remember ever having been bed punished . We were just at the beginning of the long holidays; on a Tuesday, in the middle of the morning. We played football on the garden lawn of Aunt Helene. There were my cousin Danny, 13 years old, his sister; Edith, 9 years old and my sister; Gaby, 11 years old, and two young neighbors both ten years of age. Both Danny and I monopolized the ball that annoyed the girls, particularly my cousin, Edith. She started to protest so violently that her cries attracted Aunt Helene. She shouted at us harshly. She said:
“This is the only intelligent thing for you to do? To embarrass younger girls than you? At your age, you should be ashamed!”
Danny tries to stretch the truth to satisfy himself.
“But…no…mom! We did nothing! We played…”
“This is what you call play? You scream at your young sister? Since you cannot include them, it is then necessary for you to return to bed! Both of
you! Immediately!”
There is at first, a great silence, and then a cacophony of reactions.
“Oh yes! Well done.Let’s send the boys to bed because they embarrass us!” shouts Edith.
“Ooooh, noooo, mom, not that, not now, please…” moans Danny. “But, Tantie… This is all that happened”, he pronounces on the moment.
Gaby observes with curiosity. Both of Edith’s friends burst into laughter.
“They must go to bed! They must go to bed!
“Punished like babies!”
“They are big babies! They are big babies”!
“Boo-hoo, hoo, hoo! Big boys who embarrass small girls must go to bed before them”.
I am stunned but I try anyway to soften Aunt Hélène.
“Tantie, I want to ask for your forgiveness. This…it… were… not all mean. We only had a little argument with Edith and Gaby…”
“You behaved like babies. And when babies do stupid things, they are punished like babies! Go up to your room, undress and to bed! Right away!”
“But Tantie! It is only 11:15 in the morning and…”
“Keep silent and obey! You are no better than your cousin! You should show him good example and instead of that you do the same as him! I have some little boy pyjamas that you will wear.Now you will go to bed! A spanking on your bare bottom if you are not in your little boy pyjamas in five minutes!”
The firmness by Aunt Helene brings joy to the girls and particularly of my young cousin.
“Yes; at last, I will be able to at least play quietly without these two older boys that do nothing but embarrass us”.
“Oh, you! This is not just! And then, it is always because of you that I am punished!” Danny protests.
“Enough!” his mother intervenes. “What I told your cousin, is also suitable for you!”
Danny is crying and angry when he goes inside before me and enters our room. He opens his bed furiously and starts to undress. On my side, I obeyed automatically. I did not at all realize what would come of me; to have to go to bed, as punishment, in the middle of the morning, like a disobedient baby, at 18 years! I did not also realize that I had to undress myself in front of the window open to the outside. I am not worried about the sun which continues to shine high up in the sky. Without thinking about anything, I fold down my bed, and hasten to undress and slowly put on my childish pyjamas I have been given. They are pale blue and have Teddy Bears on them.
Danny complains about his little sister that she is the reason he is often spanked and punished to bed. He finds that his mom is too strict with him and always proves that Edith is right. We go to the toilet before going into bed to begin our punishment. The sight of the blue sky makes me ask my young cousin, my cheeks still wet of tears, but already in bed:
“Should the shutters also be closed?”
“Er…uh… I do not know… we are punished, but… it is necessary to ask mom”.
I call for Aunt Helene outdoors, but she does not answer. She is undoubtedly in the garden. I hesitate to show myself in the window, in my baby pyjamas, punished to bed at 18 years. My sister, my cousin and their girlfriend are playing just below and I am easily embarrassed that they can see me this way, but it is necessary. I risk being seen, but I do not see Tantie. I lean out a little more, in vain. The girls have not seen me, but I must resign myself to question my young cousin, whose cry has merit for us to be already in bed.
“Edith…” I call her gently. She does not hear me. “Edith!” She turns her head and shouts at me sternly.
“What are you doing there? You are not yet in bed?”
I reply pathetically.
“Er…uh…, yes, yes, I go. But… er…, I would like to ask something from Aunt Helene. You know where she is?”
“She is on the other side of the garden, talking with Mrs. Grillon. What do you want me to ask her?”
“I… I would like to know if I must close the shutters.”
“You did not ask my brother?”
“Er…uh…, if, but he told me to ask your mom”.
“He is already in bed at least”.
“Yes, yes; he is in bed”.
She shouts for her mother.
“Mom! Jean-Luc asks if he must close the shutters”.
I hear the response from the window.
“Obviously! I sent him to bed as punishment, not to read or play! Besides, he should already have his head on his pillow and go to sleep. He is at least undressed, I hope”.
“Yes. He is in pyjamas”.
“And Danny?”
“Jean-Luc told me he was already in bed… it appears that he did first!”
“He is good, providing that he isn’t sulky in bed! Good! Tell him that I will come up shortly to check that all is in order and that they obeyed well”.
Although it is pointless, she tells me the guidelines from her mother amidst the laughter and mockeries of my sister and the other young girls, before closing the shutters; I am subjected to their sarcastic remarks.
“Good night, big punished baby”, Edith belittles me. “And tell my brother that I am quite content that he is already in bed! He deserves it”.
“And you too”, Gaby adds proudly.
“To beddy-byes now, you bad baby punished to bed”, the little girl exclaims.
“Be good. Do not make wee in your bed!” shouted another.
“Yes. I hope that you did not forget your chamber-pots”. My young cousin points out to me.
The closed shutters and drawn curtains hardly lessen the laughter of the young girls below our window. The room is now descended into darkness, I see enough to find my bed and lie down. I am flabbergasted by what happened to me and the pain to understand it.
“Until when are we punished?” I ask Danny in the other bed.
“What do you think? We will have to remain in bed all day!”
“Ah, All day? All of the afternoon?”
“When mom punishes me to bed, in any case, it is like that!”
“Yes, but for me, it is the first time…”
“Good. You will see!”
“And, er… you… I… I must sleep?”
“If you do cannot, you can remain awake. But you are not allowed to get up or do anything. I do not have the right to make noise. It is better that mom does not want us to speak”.
“You believe? She said that she would be up soon to see if we obeyed”.
“Good. Then it is necessary to be silent! If not, you are likely to be punished again tomorrow”.
I turn my back to him in silence and settle in our room of punished. The laughter of the young girls is heard from our beds. I cannot imagine that they laugh at anyone else but us; especially of me, put to bed as punishment by day, at 18 years, like a troubled kid. To be silent was expected. I heard sounds on the stairs, then the door opened and Aunt Helene spoke with a soft voice.
“They seem to be calm now”, she observes.
“In any case, they are not causing a commotion, replies another female-intonated voice”.
Panic seizes me. Tantie invited somebody to see us; to see me in my bed as punishment. I react quickly to simulate sleep. Apparently, Danny does too.
“Is this your nephew who is lying in this bed?” Asks the visitor.
“Yes, it is Jean-Luc, the older boy of my sister Irene”.
“And how old is he?”
“He is 18 years old”.
“18 years? Already? It is rather rare to be punished to bed at that age!
“For the others, I do not know. But for him, it must be the first time. His mother is much more tolerant and permissive than I, especially with her son…”
“He had to be surely surprised to be sent to bed so early. He is much older all the same than your children, even Danny… You did not have any difficulty with him?”
“To make him prepare for bed already this morning? No… He was very, very surprised, that it is sure! But he hardly complained, and not less than his cousin! I gave him five minutes to put on his cute pyjamas. Afterwards, he remained quiet and obeyed”.
“Indeed! He looks suitable to be in his beddy-byes…How long has he been in bed?”
“Oh… 10:20a.m., I think! It was not yet 10:15am, when I made them undress and sleep…”
“Do you require them to wear their pyjamas and nightdress? How long will they have to remain in bed?”
“Today? All day of course! They are being punished! They will not be allowed up until tomorrow morning!”
“Even for meals? - Yes, yes! They will eat a light meal in bed at midday and at tea time. After that, they will sleep for the night”.
“Eh well, I hope they regret being obligated to spend all day and evening in bed during this beautiful sunshine!”
“What upsets Danny even more; is to be consigned to bed while his young sister can go and play outside, even late into in the evening”.
“For your nephew, it must be even more awkward, no?”
“Oh, perhaps, yes… but for me, that is part of the punishment…”
For the moment which was especially embarrassing for me; the presence of an outsider at the foot of my bed while I am in bed punished. As for the conversation of the two women, it was instructive, but not so reassuring for me.
“I see that Jean-Luc did not leave his clothes out of the room, Tantie notices. It will be necessary that he will be punished often, before being accustomed. Well, since they seem to be asleep, I will tuck them in and close the door until lunch…”
“Wait, I will help you”, suggests the visitor.
Without moving, she straightens my sheets and smoothes my pillow. Then, the two women leave the room. I hear the sound of the key turn in the lock, and then their steps fade as they go back downstairs. I open my eyes as I move to see, although vaguely that all of my clothes disappeared. Danny had also moved in his bed. I ask him in a whisper, who the visitor was.
“It was Mrs. Grillon, our neighbor… It is better that we do not speak… Good night, mom could hear us and keep us in bed all day tomorrow”.
I lay back on my pillow and the silence of the room was disturbed only by loud merry utterances and mockers of my young sister, my young cousin and their playmates, who come to scoff at us, punished to our beds. I do not have a watch, but I estimate that it must be between 10:30a.m., and 10:45a.m., in the morning. That meant many more hours to fret in bed until the next morning. I am experiencing certain contradictory feelings, of shame and frustration but also a mix of excitation and tenderness. I seemed to forget my cousin also punished in the bed nearby. The thought of my little, younger sister and my young cousin playing freely outside while I am consigned to bed for the day, disturbs me considerably, and disrupts my freedom; as a result I daydream to another place until lunch time. It repeats itself over and over in my mind; I am questioned constantly in front of our opened window, why already in baby pyjamas at 10:15am, in the morning, being addressed by a young girl of almost 10 years my junior, because I had just been punished to bed, to ask her piteously if I had to close the shutters and sleep immediately! The dream recurs. I reproach myself, in that my behavior was disgraceful for an older boy my age, and also unruly! When I think of rebelling, I repel it in my mind and accept my fate. I know that I should stay in bed, and obey as long as my punishment will last, considering the fact that my clothing had been confiscated, and that we are locked up in our room… I was surprised when lunch had soon arrived. It was the sound of the key in the lock, despite my weariness, that attracted my attention. Edith and Gaby entered while exclaiming loudly with mockery and annoyance:
“Here is the meal of the older punished babies!”
“Then, boys, were you well behaved in your beds?”
“I hope that we weren’t too loud while playing outside…”
-“… and that we did not prevent you from sleeping…”
-“We played so much better since you were put to bed”, one says laughing.
-“Yes, we weren’t even concerned about you, and could play with the ball without your annoyance of keeping it from us…!”
Edith lights my bedside lamp and obligates us to prepare for lunch.
“Let’s go, sit up in your bed cousin! She curtly demands, as she places a tray on my lap, then sets down a feeding-bottle. Gaby did the same for baby Danny.
“He has had enough practice and will be able to show you what to do. I will deal with my baby cousin. It is the first time that mom had introduced him to bed punishment. He is older than my brother but he is not used to it yet”.
“The shutters are not yet opened?” asks Gaby.
“No, no, that is not allowed. After lunch and the feeding-bottle; beddy-byes for the punished!”
“Great! I approve!” my little sister said with enthusiasm.
My young cousin treats me with formality and firmness, as she helps me to sit up.
“Let’s go! You are not sick, you are being punished!”
She orders me to sit up, sternly. She fluffs the pillow behind my back, and then ties a bib around my neck; a pale blue bib with a white rabbit motif! This time, I refuse to accept it, but she raps my hand which I had placed in front of me.
“Behave, older punished baby! You would not like to make a mess on your lovely pyjamas, all the same, since you must stay in bed until tomorrow, so do not forget!” my young cousin reprimanded me. “If you spill anything in your bed, mom would be very, very annoyed; you would most likely be spanked bare bottom and consigned to bed a good long time! Ask Danny! It is so for that reason that he must drink from the feeding-bottle, when punished to bed”.
“But… Edith… I… I do not know if I can do this….”
“Babies do this very well…”
“Yes but… I am not a baby any more… I am 18 years old…”
“Yeah… Mum punished you as a baby because you acted like a baby… a big 18 year old baby but a baby… Hurry now to finish your meal and drink your feeding-bottle. It is an herbal tea, that will hasten you to fall asleep, and so you won’t stay up; that is your punishment!”
Our lunch consisted of spinach and eggs in a dish, fitting with the extent of a punishment. Danny and I resign ourselves to eat it. I see that, he wears a yellow bib with a blue teddy bear motif over his pink and white nightdress. Edith invites my little sister to come down to lunch and gives us her last instructions.
“When you finish, bring your plates and feeding-bottles downstairs to the kitchen, then brush your teeth and immediately get into bed… Do not waste time, if so, you will sleep in bed all day tomorrow! Good appetite, punished babies!”
They leave bursting into a loud laughter. Danny expresses himself by grumbling his bitter, deep-seated ill will against his little sister, responsible for our early and forced confinement. I still admit unpleasantly that I will have to pass the time in bed as punishment for the remainder of this splendid day of the holidays, all of the afternoon and all of the evening!
“You… do you believe that if you apologized to Aunt Helene, that she would allow us to get up this afternoon?”
I try to make my cousin see that it is of no use to ask for a reprieve.
“Then you are mistaken! It is far better to say nothing, and remain in bed until tomorrow morning!”
Not even for a short time? We could at least be allowed up this afternoon and return to bed earlier this evening…”
“Oh, no, you will see. There will be more occasions to go to bed early in the evening… even without being punished. But for today, it is finished. It is bedtime for us, at 10:00am, already in the morning…”
We swallow our spinach in silence. I hesitate to take the feeding-bottle posed beside my bedside table. Danny informs me.
“It is necessary to drink all of it, if not mom will not be content, and since you are already punished… You will see it is not so difficult”.
“You often drink… eu…uh… like that?”
“When I am in bed…”
“As punishment?”
“Yes… or when I must sleep earlier and when mom already puts me down before dining”.
“Why?”
“Oh… that depends… on the times, it could be because she leaves for the evening… or because she has visitors…”
“Your little sister also, then?”
“Oh, in general, when mom is occupied for the evening, Edith will sleep at one of her girlfriends… Moreover it is often that she makes me sleep before leaving. I remain quiet, but disturbed about it. I obey her and take the feeding-bottle to my mouth and start to suck the nipple. With the first mouthful, I start to choke. At the second, I start to cough. From the third, I swallow correctly”.
Danny of course finished before me. He places his plate on the floor and gets out of bed. Before going down, he waits until I also finish, I am grateful. The idea to be seen in my little boy pyjamas by Tantie, my sister and my cousin worries and disturbs me at the same time. All the same, I am accompanied by Danny, in his nightdress. My heart beats fast and my rate of adrenalin increases, as I descend the stairs. It is my little sister who notices us first.
“Ah. Here are the punished babies, and they have finished their lunch!”
“And their feeding-bottles too, I hope?” Edith replies mockingly.
The laughter of yet another young girl reveals to me the presence at the table of one of the neighbors witnessing our punishment.
“It is so funny, to see two big boys already in bed because they were malicious with little girls… Will they remain in bed this afternoon?”
“Yes! It is quite normal”, answers Edith firmly.
“Oh, you! Species of…” Danny does not finish his retort to his sister.
“And you, you may find it beneficial to conceal your feelings and go straight to bed”, his mother intervenes, and the girls laugh. “I have the impression that you seek a spanking!”
We move in haste towards the kitchen. Aunt Helene orders us to rinse our plates and our feeding-bottles. We obey before going back up.
“Brush your teeth and make wee before going into your bed. And empty your chamber-pots”.
“I did not use mine”, answers Danny.
“Me, either…”
“Rinse them nevertheless. It is better”.
The tone is such that I give up asking for a lessened reprieve to bed. Danny was right, for both of us; we will be in bed and do nothing else until tomorrow, that is too strict! Despite that, I go so far as to ask a question.
“Will Euh… Tantie… we also dine in bed?”
“No dinner for punished babies!” Exclaims Edith.
“Edith is right and Danny knows it well. You will have a milk feeding-bottle to drink and that is all!”
“Afterwards, beddy-byes for the night!” Delights my young cousin.
“Like the babies”, the small neighbor announces.
“But it will still be daylight for yet a long time…!” This vain thought is unpleasant to me.
“Well done for you, my baby brother. When you act like a baby, you go to bed like a baby. And you must immediately go to beddy-byes after your feeding-bottle!”
I start to blush but am unable to answer. I try to disguise my outward appearance, while asking in a pale voice:
“Do Euh… Tantie… I have to sleep also this afternoon? Immediately? All the time?”
“You do not have anything better to do, I believe. After what you drank from the feeding-bottle, you will go sound sleep. In any case, you are prohibited to stay up, read, turn on the light, and to speak with your cousin. If you cannot go to sleep immediately, all the better; but with the monitor, I can hear all that occurs in your room and if one of you disobeys then you both will be punished! Spankings and consigned to the bed! Understood?”
“Euh… yes… Aunt Helene…”
“Then, go to beddy-byes! Quietly too! Your sisters will come up in five minutes to check on you to see if you behaved, to prepare you and to close and lock your door”. She accompanies her peremptory order by a slap on my buttocks.
“Yes, Tantie…” Is my only answer.
Physically, I have yet another reaction which I dissimulate while turning over and by gaining ground hastily. I will seek my chamber-pot, crossing the room to go back to the toilet, brush my teeth, and return to our room. In passing, the sarcastic remarks start again.
“Good night, you who is punished in baby pyjamas”, Gaby says as she bursts out laughing.
“We girls will play outside, all of this afternoon. You, big boys, will remain all that time in bed!”
“We excuse ourselves for playing loudly and happily. You should try and sleep right away, so you won’t stay awake”.
“Yes, because we will initially have our dessert… Mmmmhhhh… It is good, and we will enjoy your shares…”
“A good dessert after a good lunch… It is good, but when you are punished, you cannot have any”.
“Er…uh..S… if… I… good… good afternoon… I go to bed…”
It is on the whimpering of my pitiful, faltering cousin, who causes the girls to laugh aloud, that I turn around and go to sleep. I already turned off my bedside lamp as does Danny. He turns off his lamp as well, we exchange a sober “good night” and I turn on my back. The girls enter shortly after while whispering and then burst out in laughter. The small neighbor accompanies our sisters.
“They are nice, in their beds”, notes the neighbor.
-“Oh, my big brother, only when he is in bed, does he let me alone in peace”, declares Edith.
“My own brother also annoys me often, but mom never punishes him. Here, that is much better. Aunt Helene puts him to bed as soon as he does a foolish thing, like Danny, even if he is already 18 years old! And all the better, in pyjamas, locked in his room all day, without light, or anything at all!”
We will tuck them in and leave them to prepare for beddy-byes…They already seem to be almost asleep”.
Gaby closes my drapes. I remain still, pretending to conceal my shame to be put to bed all afternoon, at 18 years, by my younger sister of 11 years!
“You could say thank-you to me”, she points out mockingly. “This was not because of me that Tantie punished you to bed, this is because you and Danny humiliated us”.
“Er…uh…yes…thank-you, little sister”. It seems to me that the words do not come out the way I want. At the same time, I blush with shame.
“Good night. Beddy-bye punished babies! Be good now. We will eat our dessert and yours. Afterwards, we will be free to do whatever we please! Since it is in fact so beautiful out, mom says we can remain up for as long as we want, even late tonight!”
“Even until what time?” reacts Danny.
“Oh…even after it is completely dark…at the least 11:00p.m., or later!”, she concludes with pleasure by my dissatisfied young cousin.
“THIS IS disgust…very unjust and unfair!”
“That, I will tell mom!”
“What?”
“That you said a swear word! She does not like that”.
“But…I did not say it!”
- “You had wanted to, you had started to! That is just like you; and in front of Christelle, over and over again!”
“Yes, I heard”, confirms the girl.
“Me too!” adds Gaby.
“No…please, Edith! I am likely to still be punished.
“Well done! You had only to be polite, one time! You will see…Good night!”
I intend to respond good night from my fresh, fluffy pillow, at 12:30p.m. This is what makes the girls laugh.
“Oh…for us, we have all the time before we go to sleep. We are not in bed as big babies, like you. We are not punished, like you. We have been kind, but not you”.
It was on this ultimate outcry of mockery, that the girls leave us confined and locked in. The darkness and silence have taken over. The voices and the stifled laughs of the young girls fade, as they go back downstairs where they have dessert with Aunt Hélène…It is without delay that I doze. When I emerge sometime later from a heavy sleep, it takes time for me to realize; where am I? What am I doing here? Undressed and put to bed? What time is it? This disturbance mixes difficulty with excitement and takes hold of me recalling the memory of my childish punishment. Aunt Hélène sending us to bed as punishment at 10:15am, in the morning in the presence of a 10 year old child and my young sister of 11 years…Me in babyish pyjamas at the window asking my cousin if I must close the shutters and sleep right away… The neighbors tucking me in my bed of puni… Edith and Gaby that bring us lunch, then to sleep at noon… and the bib and the bottle in the bed… The sarcasm of the little sisters of both Danny and me, really punished to bed for the day. The light of the sun filters between the shutters and blinds and the spaces between the curtains that Edith had taken care to join carefully before locking us in confinement. The joyous cries of little girls playing freely outside fills our room, to our pillows, that disturbs my feeling of shame. I recognize the voice of my sister and that of my cousin, because of which, Aunt Hélène punished us and because of that I am in bed since the middle of the morning, and for the remainder of the day…unless Tantie suspends the punishment and if I ask her for forgiveness… at least for me; after all, it was Danny that began annoying the girls… and since I am already 18 years old…perhaps she will have pity on me… Oh I am finished yet, I know all too well. She was clear: she has said that I would remain tucked in bed until tomorrow morning and that I would have to sleep right away after lunch, without dinner. And that our little sisters, have the right to play outside as they wish and to remain up until at least 11:00, or later in the evening!
I hear Danny stir in the bed next to me.
“Are you also awake?”
“Oh, one moment, we are here already?…You, you seemed to sleep well”.
“Er…uh…Yes…I have not heard or seen anything since the girls confined us… Do you know which hour it is?
“I heard the clock chime, indicating 2:45P.M., I think…”
“You do not have any watch?”
“No. Not when I am punished…”
“We soon will have a meal, do you think?”
“Oh, yes…but I am in no hurry since after that we will have to sleep for the night”.
“In any case, we do not have the right anymore to read or anything else…it does not change anything”.
“Hmmm…not so good….But, hush! Mom can hear us!”
I stay silent to avoid other punishments; still awake at the present, I hear the sounds more clearly, that rise from outside to our beds. Our little sisters always play laughing and shouting loudly and happily. They do not appear to be concerned about us, tucked away in our room with the shutters closed. In a way, I am relieved of not being the target of their sarcasms anymore. On the other hand, I find that what hurt our situation was becoming normal for the others! To be in bed in broad daylight, at 18 years, for enraging my cousin of 9 years on purpose! To this thought, a renewed emotion of anxiety, a mix of humiliation and of excitement, of frustration and of momentary pleasure, a sense of penitence and what sheets and blankets conceal to indiscretions…
I jump up as a child doing wrong when I hear the key being turned in the lock of the door, and I withdraw instantly my hand that caressed my lower stomach and turn towards the door without getting my head off my pillow.
“Then, our brats are awake? Our neighbor states mockingly.
She carries a tray and is followed by Aunt Hélène. The room brightens from the daylight in the hallway.
“Germaine, place Jean-Luc’s tray on the table. I will open the window awhile they eat. It is better to ventilate the room a bit before they sleep for the night”.
Tantie wears a yellow dress; Mrs. Grillon wears corsair red pants. Curtains drawn aside, shutters open to the wind, a bright sun suddenly illuminates the room of the punished to bed. The girls that play below shout for Aunt Hélène.
“Are they finished sleeping?” asks Edith.
“For the moment, yes. We bring them a light meal. We will soon have our afternoon tea; I will prepare it while Germaine deals with the punished… so stay nearby; I will call you when it is ready”.
A young girl asks:
“Will they still remain in beddy-byes after their meal?”
“Yes, yes. They will remain in bed. They are punished. After they eat, it is beddy-byes for them!”
“And for us, during this time, we will remain outside for as long as we wish. We will have fun late into this evening, also after dining, and even long after it gets dark!” points out Edith with enthusiasm.
Aunt Helene is at the point of going back downstairs, and repeats some instructions to her guest.
“Tie their bibs well… and they must sit up correctly to avoid spills… It is also necessary that they empty their pots when they go to the toilet… and that they do not forget to bring back them… Mrs. Grillon reassures her while laughing and assists us to sit up in our beds. She begins with me.
“Hello, young man. Well, why are you already in bed in the middle of the afternoon? You were not good?”
“Er…uh…Good-hello, Madam… er…uh…or-yes… Aunt Helene punished me…”
“Oh! You bad boy! Do you not have shame? At your age…”
“I… I was punished with Danny…”
“Well I see that your cousin is also in bed, but he is older, isn’t this true, Danny?”
“I will be 14 years old soon…”
“And you?”
“Er…uh…I…I…I…I…I am already 18 years old…”
“18 years? This is already the age of reason, no?”
“Er…uh…eh well… it is that we had made a big deal… it is Danny’s little sister who called Aunt Helene because the ball was not passed to her…”
“It is true, confirms my young cousin in his bed, Edith always gets me punished for almost nothing!”
“And as I played with Danny…”
“Helene was wise to put you both to bed! Such big babies you are! She did well!”
While speaking, she helps me to sit up, ties my bib on me, and positions the tray on my lap. In addition to the promised feeding-bottle, lukewarm mashed potatoes and a piece of bread.
- “There are potatoes and carrots, she explains to me, and milk with honey in the feeding-bottle. “Good appetite”. Helene said to me “And you will not have anything else”. She deals then with Danny, and then comes to sit down at the edge of my bed.
- “It is good?”
“Er…uh…eh well… that… that goes…”
“You do not appreciate baby food? To eat like the big ones, it would be necessary to behave himself like a big one and to avoid being punished like a baby!”
The fact of having a full mouth saves me from a response as pitiful as the one that I uttered before I was put to bed this morning. My case intrigues the visitor obviously.
“Then, young man, how do you happen to be punished? It must be tedious to be obliged to remain in bed all day during the holidays. Especially by a so good weather! More especially as the days are long in summer! You must find time long, in beddy-byes, in little boy pyjamas all day, while your little sisters can go outside and play in the sun”.
“Euh… yes… but… I slept a good long time this afternoon…”
“That, at least, is reasonable…”
“And you are often punished like that?”
“”NR… not… eu…ah…it is the first time…”
“The first time? At eighteen years?”
“Or-yes… mom always made me go to bed in punishment”
“You were so good until today? You astonish me!”
“It is that… mom is not as strict as Aunt Helene…”
“And Helene had to punish you whereas you have been on holiday only for a few days!”
“Yes, I arrived on Sunday”.
“Cheer! And two days later, you already do foolish things…”
“Er…uh…yes… eu…ah… but it was not quite serious, I find… eu…ah… I believe… Aunt Helene is strict…”
“Especially with us!” Danny intervenes. “She always believes my little sister!”
“A little girl should be well defended against big boys like you. You should show that you are more reasonable than your little sister… and, you, the older one of 18 years, even more!”
My nose reddens, in my plate.
“You give good reason not to be trusted…You should have shame. It is rather ridiculous to be obliged to take your afternoon meals in bed at 18 years because you deserved to be punished!”
“… Hurry now to finish your mashed potatoes. And also your milk feeding-bottle also, big baby! I will have to prepare you for beddy-byes”.
“It is that… eu…ah… I am not sleepy yet. I have just slept all afternoon”.
“So much better for you. It is your fault that you are already in bed all day, are you not?”
“S… if… but…”
“Go… I have something else to do than to remain at the bedside of an older young man punished to bed like a small kid. Helene will have soon finished preparing the tea for me and your little sisters. They are surely impatient to return outside to play. They do not have to go to bed, like you all day”.
My shame peaks when I must at last settle down after drinking my milk. Mrs. Grillon is unable to stop laughing in view of these two cousins punished to bed drinking from their feeding-bottles. I am not used to drinking the milk from the feeding-bottle, but I finish drinking the same time as Danny.
It is not even 3:00p.m. yet….
When I arrived for the first time with Tantie, while I was already 18 years, I did not remember ever having been punished to bed. We were just at the beginning of the long holidays; on a Tuesday, in the middle of the morning. We played ball on the garden lawn of Aunt Helene. There were my cousin Danny, 13 years old, his sister; Edith, 9 years old and my sister; Gaby, 11 years old, and two young neighbors both ten years of age. Both Danny and I monopolized the ball that annoyed the girls, particularly my cousin, Edith. She started to protest so violently that her cries attracted Aunt Helene. She shouted at us harshly. She said:
“This is the only intelligent thing for you to do? To embarrass younger girls than you? At your age, you should be ashamed!”
Danny tries to stretch the truth to satisfy himself.
“But…no…mom! We did nothing! We played…”
“This is what you call play? You scream at your young sister? Since you cannot include them, it is then necessary for you to return to bed! Both of
you! Immediately!”
There is at first, a great silence, and then a cacophony of reactions.
“Oh yes! Well done. To bed for the boys that embarrass us!” shouts Edith.
“Ooooh, noooo, mom, not that, not now, please…” moans Danny. “But, Tantie… This is all that happened”, he pronounces on the moment.
Gaby observes with curiosity. Both of Edith’s friends burst into laughter.
“They must go to bed! They must go to bed!
“Punished like babies!”
“They are big babies! They are big babies”!
“Boo-hoo, hoo, hoo! Big boys who embarrass small girls must go to bed before them”.
I am stunned but I try anyway to soften Aunt Hélène.
“Tantie, I want to ask for your forgiveness. This…it… were… not all mean. We only had a little argument with Edith and Gaby…”
“You behaved like babies. And when babies do stupid things, they are punished like babies! Go up to your room, undress and to bed! Right away!”
“But Tantie! It is only 10:15 in the morning and…”
“Keep silent and obey! You are no better than your cousin! You should show him good example and instead of that you do the same as him! Now you will go to bed! A spanking on your bare, if you are not in your little boy pyjamas in five minutes!”
The firmness by Aunt Helene brings joy to the girls and particularly of my young cousin.
“Yes; at last, I will be able to at least play quietly without these two older boys that do nothing but embarrass us”.
“Oh, you! This is not just! And then, it is always because of you that I am punished!” Danny protests.
“Enough!” his mother intervenes. “What I told your cousin, is also suitable for you!”
Danny is crying and angry when he goes inside before me and enters our room. He opens his bed furiously and starts to undress. On my side, I obeyed automatically. I did not at all realize what would come of me; to have to go to bed, as punishment, in the middle of the morning, like a disobedient baby, at 18 years! I did not also realize that I had to undress myself in front of the window open to the outside. I am not worried about the sun which continues to shine high up in the sky. Without thinking about anything, I fold down my bed, and hasten to undress and slowly put on my childish pyjamas, leaving my shoes and clothing. Danny does the same, while sniveling.
He complains about his little sister that she is the reason he is often spanked and punished to bed. He finds that his mom is too strict with him and always proves that Edith is right. We go to the toilet before going into bed to begin our punishment. The sight of the blue sky makes me ask my young cousin, my cheeks still wet of tears, but already in bed:
“Should the shutters also be closed?”
“Er…uh… I do not know… we are punished, but… it is necessary to ask mom”.
I call for Aunt Helene outdoors, but she does not answer. She is undoubtedly in the garden. I hesitate to show myself in the window, in my baby pyjamas, punished to bed at 18 years. My sister, my cousin and their girlfriend are playing just below and I am easily embarrassed that they can see me this way, but it is necessary. I risk being seen, but I do not see Tantie. I lean out a little more, in vain. The girls have not seen me, but I must resign myself to question my young cousin, whose cry has merit for us to be already in bed.
“Edith…” I call her gently. She does not hear me. “Edith!” She turns her head and shouts at me sternly.
“What are you doing there? You are not yet in bed?”
I reply pathetically.
“Er…uh…, yes, yes, I go. But… er…, I would like to ask something from Aunt Helene. You know where she is?”
“She is on the other side of the garden, talking with Mrs. Grillon. What do you want me to ask her?”
“I… I would like to know if I must close the shutters.”
“You did not ask my brother?”
“Er…uh…, if, but he told me to ask your mom”.
“He is already in bed at least”.
“Yes, yes; he is in bed”.
She shouts for her mother.
“Mom! Jean-Luc asks if he must close the shutters”.
I hear the response from the window.
“Obviously! I sent him to bed as punishment, not to read or play! Besides, he should already have his head on his pillow and go to sleep. He is at least undressed, I hope”.
“Yes. He is in pyjamas”.
“And Danny?”
“Jean-Luc told me he was already in bed… it appears that he did first!”
“He is good, providing that he isn’t sulky in bed! Good! Tell him that I will come up shortly to check that all is in order and that they obeyed well”.
Although it is pointless, she tells me the guidelines from her mother amidst the laughter and mockeries of my sister and the other young girls, before closing the shutters; I am subjected to their sarcastic remarks.
“Good night, big punished baby”, Edith belittles me. “And tell my brother that I am quite content that he is already in bed! He deserves it”.
“And you too”, Gaby adds proudly.
“To beddy-byes now, you bad baby punished to bed”, the little girl exclaims.
“Be good. Do not make wee in your bed!” shouted another.
“Yes. I hope that you did not forget your chamber-pots”. My young cousin points out to me.
The closed shutters and drawn curtains hardly lessen the laughter of the young girls below our window. The room is now descended into darkness, I see enough to find my bed and lie down. I am flabbergasted by what happened to me and the pain to understand it.
“Until when are we punished?” I ask Danny in the other bed.
“What do you think? We will have to remain in bed all day!”
“Ah, All day? All of the afternoon?”
“When mom punishes me to bed, in any case, it is like that!”
“Yes, but for me, it is the first time…”
“Good. You will see!”
“And, er… you… I… I must sleep?”
“If you do cannot, you can remain awake. But you are not allowed to get up or do anything. I do not have the right to make noise. It is better that mom does not want us to speak”.
“You believe? She said that she would be up soon to see if we obeyed”.
“Good. Then it is necessary to be silent! If not, you are likely to be punished again tomorrow”.
I turn my back to him in silence and settle in our room of punished. The laughter of the young girls is heard from our beds. I cannot imagine that they laugh at anyone else but us; especially of me, put to bed as punishment by day, at 18 years, like a troubled kid. To be silent was expected. I heard sounds on the stairs, then the door opened and Aunt Helene spoke with a soft voice.
“They seem to be calm now”, she observes.
“In any case, they are not causing a commotion, replies another female-intonated voice”.
Panic seizes me. Tantie invited somebody to see us; to see me in my bed as punishment. I react quickly to simulate sleep. Apparently, Danny does too.
“Is this your nephew who is lying in this bed?” Asks the visitor.
“Yes, it is Jean-Luc, the older boy of my sister Irene”.
“And how old is he?”
“He is 18 years old”.
“18 years? Already? It is rather rare to be punished to bed at that age!
“For the others, I do not know. But for him, it must be the first time. His mother is much more tolerant and permissive than I, especially with her son…”
“He had to be surely surprised to be sent to bed so early. He is much older all the same than your children, even Danny… You did not have any difficulty with him?”
“To make him prepare for bed already this morning? No… He was very, very surprised, that it is sure! But he hardly complained, and not less than his cousin! I gave him five minutes to put on his cute pyjamas. Afterwards, he remained quiet and obeyed”.
“Indeed! He looks suitable to be in his beddy-byes…How long has he been in bed?”
“Oh… 10:20a.m., I think! It was not yet 10:15am, when I made them undress and sleep…”
“Do you require them to wear pyjamas and a nightdress? How long will they have to remain in bed?”
“Today? All day of course! They are being punished! They will not be allowed up until tomorrow morning!”
“Even for meals? - Yes, yes! They will eat a light meal in bed at midday and at tea time. After that, they will sleep for the night”.
“Eh well, I hope they regret being obligated to spend all day and evening in bed during this beautiful sunshine!”
“What upsets Danny even more; is to be consigned to bed while his young sister can go and play outside, even late into in the evening”.
“For your nephew, it must be even more awkward, no?”
“Oh, perhaps, yes… but for me, that is part of the punishment…”
For the moment which was especially embarrassing for me; the presence of an outsider at the foot of my bed while I am in bed punished. As for the conversation of the two women, it was instructive, but not so reassuring for me.
“I see that Jean-Luc did not leave his clothes out of the room, Tantie notices. It will be necessary that he will be punished often, before being accustomed. Well, since they seem to be asleep, I will tuck them in and close the door until lunch…”
“Wait, I will help you”, suggests the visitor.
Without moving, she straightens my sheets and smoothes my pillow. Then, the two women leave the room. I hear the sound of the key turn in the lock, and then their steps fade as they go back downstairs. I open my eyes as I move to see, although vaguely that all of my clothes disappeared. Danny had also moved in his bed. I ask him in a whisper, who the visitor was.
“It was Mrs. Grillon, our neighbor… It is better that we do not speak… Good night, mom could hear us and keep us in bed all day tomorrow”.
I lay back on my pillow and the silence of the room was disturbed only by loud merry utterances and mockers of my young sister, my young cousin and their playmates, who come to scoff at us, punished to our beds. I do not have a watch, but I estimate that it must be between 10:30a.m., and 10:45a.m., in the morning. That meant many more hours to fret in bed until the next morning. I am experiencing certain contradictory feelings, of shame and frustration but also a mix of excitation and tenderness. I seemed to forget my cousin also punished in the bed nearby. The thought of my little, younger sister and my young cousin playing freely outside while I am consigned to bed for the day, disturbs me considerably, and disrupts my freedom; as a result I daydream to another place until lunch time. It repeats itself over and over in my mind; I am questioned constantly in front of our opened window, why already in baby pyjamas at 10:15am, in the morning, being addressed by a young girl of almost 10 years my junior, because I had just been punished to bed, to ask her piteously if I had to close the shutters and sleep immediately! The dream recurs. I reproach myself, in that my behavior was disgraceful for an older boy my age, and also unruly! When I think of rebelling, I repel it in my mind and accept my fate. I know that I should stay in bed, and obey as long as my punishment will last, considering the fact that my clothing had been confiscated, and that we are locked up in our room… I was surprised when lunch had soon arrived. It was the sound of the key in the lock, despite my weariness, that attracted my attention. Edith and Gaby entered while exclaiming loudly with mockery and annoyance:
“Here is the meal of the older punished babies!”
“Then, boys, were you well behaved in your beds?”
“I hope that we weren’t too loud while playing outside…”
-“… and that we did not prevent you from sleeping…”
-“We played so much better since you were put to bed”, one says laughing.
-“Yes, we weren’t even concerned about you, and could play with the ball without your annoyance of keeping it from us…!”
Edith lights my bedside lamp and obligates us to prepare for lunch.
“Let’s go, sit up in your bed cousin! She curtly demands, as she places a tray on my lap, then sets down a feeding-bottle. Gaby did the same for baby Danny.
“He has had enough practice and will be able to show you what to do. I will deal with my baby cousin. It is the first time that mom had introduced him to bed punishment. He is older than my brother but he is not used to it yet”.
“The shutters are not yet opened?” asks Gaby.
“No, no, that is not allowed. After lunch and the feeding-bottle; beddy-byes for the punished!”
“Great! I approve!” my little sister said with enthusiasm.
My young cousin treats me with formality and firmness, as she helps me to sit up.
“Let’s go! You are not sick, you are being punished!”
She orders me to sit up, sternly. She fluffs the pillow behind my back, and then ties a bib around my neck; a pale blue bib with a white rabbit motif! This time, I refuse to accept it, but she raps my hand which I had placed in front of me.
“Behave, older punished baby! You would not like to make a mess on your lovely pyjamas, all the same, since you must stay in bed until tomorrow, so do not forget!” my young cousin reprimanded me. “If you spill anything in your bed, mom would be very, very annoyed; you would most likely be spanked bare bottom and consigned to bed a good long time! Ask Danny! It is so for that reason that he must drink from the feeding-bottle, when punished to bed”.
“But… Edith… I… I do not know if I can do this….”
“Babies do this very well…”
“Yes but… I am not a baby any more… I am 18 years old…”
“Yeah… Mum punished you as a baby because you acted like a baby… a big 18 year old baby but a baby… Hurry now to finish your meal and drink your feeding-bottle. It is an herbal tea, that will hasten you to fall asleep, and so you won’t stay up; that is your punishment!”
Our lunch consisted of spinach and eggs in a dish, fitting with the extent of a punishment. Danny and I resign ourselves to eat it. I see that, he wears a yellow bib with a blue teddy bear motif over his pink and white nightdress. Edith invites my little sister to come down to lunch and gives us her last instructions.
“When you finish, bring your plates and feeding-bottles downstairs to the kitchen, then brush your teeth and immediately get into bed… Do not waste time, if so, you will sleep in bed all day tomorrow! Good appetite, punished babies!”
They leave bursting into a loud laughter. Danny expresses himself by grumbling his bitter, deep-seated ill will against his little sister, responsible for our early and forced confinement. I still admit unpleasantly that I will have to pass the time in bed as punishment for the remainder of this splendid day of the holidays, all of the afternoon and all of the evening!
“You… do you believe that if you apologized to Aunt Helene, that she would allow us to get up this afternoon?”
I try to make my cousin see that it is of no use to ask for a reprieve.
“Then you are mistaken! It is far better to say nothing, and remain in bed until tomorrow morning!”
Not even for a short time? We could at least be allowed up this afternoon and return to bed earlier this evening…”
“Oh, no, you will see. There will be more occasions to go to bed early in the evening… even without being punished. But for today, it is finished. It is bedtime for us, at 10:00am, already in the morning…”
We swallow our spinach in silence. I hesitate to take the feeding-bottle posed beside my bedside table. Danny informs me.
“It is necessary to drink all of it, if not mom will not be content, and since you are already punished… You will see it is not so difficult”.
“You often drink… eu…uh… like that?”
“When I am in bed…”
“As punishment?”
“Yes… or when I must sleep earlier and when mom already puts me down before dining”.
“Why?”
“Oh… that depends… on the times, it could be because she leaves for the evening… or because she has visitors…”
“Your little sister also, then?”
“Oh, in general, when mom is occupied for the evening, Edith will sleep at one of her girlfriends… Moreover it is often that she makes me sleep before leaving. I remain quiet, but disturbed about it. I obey her and take the feeding-bottle to my mouth and start to suck the nipple. With the first mouthful, I start to choke. At the second, I start to cough. From the third, I swallow correctly”.
Danny of course finished before me. He places his plate on the floor and gets out of bed. Before going down, he waits until I also finish, I am grateful. The idea to be seen in my little boy pyjamas by Tantie, my sister and my cousin worries and disturbs me at the same time. All the same, I am accompanied by Danny, in his nightdress. My heart beats fast and my rate of adrenalin increases, as I descend the stairs. It is my little sister who notices us first.
“Ah. Here are the punished babies, and they have finished their lunch!”
“And their feeding-bottles too, I hope?” Edith replies mockingly.
The laughter of yet another young girl reveals to me the presence at the table of one of the neighbors witnessing our punishment.
“It is so funny, to see two big boys already in bed because they were malicious with little girls… Will they remain in bed this afternoon?”
“Yes! It is quite normal”, answers Edith firmly.
“Oh, you! Species of…” Danny does not finish his retort to his sister.
“And you, you may find it beneficial to conceal your feelings and go straight to bed”, his mother intervenes, and the girls laugh. “I have the impression that you seek a spanking!”
We move in haste towards the kitchen. Aunt Helene orders us to rinse our plates and our feeding-bottles. We obey before going back up.
“Brush your teeth and make wee before going into your bed. And empty your chamber-pots”.
“I did not use mine”, answers Danny.
“Me, either…”
“Rinse them nevertheless. It is better”.
The tone is such that I give up asking for a lessened reprieve to bed. Danny was right, for both of us; we will be in bed and do nothing else until tomorrow, that is too strict! Despite that, I go so far as to ask a question.
“Will Euh… Tantie… we also dine in bed?”
“No dinner for punished babies!” Exclaims Edith.
“Edith is right and Danny knows it well. You will have a milk feeding-bottle to drink and that is all!”
“Afterwards, beddy-byes for the night!” Delights my young cousin.
“Like the babies”, the small neighbor announces.
“But it will still be daylight for yet a long time…!” This vain thought is unpleasant to me.
“Well done for you, my baby brother. When you act like a baby, you go to bed like a baby. And you must immediately go to beddy-byes after your feeding-bottle!”
I start to blush but am unable to answer. I try to disguise my outward appearance, while asking in a pale voice:
“Do Euh… Tantie… I have to sleep also this afternoon? Immediately? All the time?”
“You do not have anything better to do, I believe. After what you drank from the feeding-bottle, you will go sound sleep. In any case, you are prohibited to stay up, read, turn on the light, and to speak with your cousin. If you cannot go to sleep immediately, all the better; but with the monitor, I can hear all that occurs in your room and if one of you disobeys then you both will be punished! Spankings and consigned to the bed! Understood?”
“Euh… yes… Aunt Helene…”
“Then, go to beddy-byes! Quietly too! Your sisters will come up in five minutes to check on you to see if you behaved, to prepare you and to close and lock your door”. She accompanies her peremptory order by a slap on my buttocks.
“Yes, Tantie…” Is my only answer.
Physically, I have yet another reaction which I dissimulate while turning over and by gaining ground hastily. I will seek my chamber-pot, crossing the room to go back to the toilet, brush my teeth, and return to our room. In passing, the sarcastic remarks start again.
“Good night, you who is punished in baby pyjamas”, Gaby says as she bursts out laughing.
“We girls will play outside, all of this afternoon. You, big boys, will remain all that time in bed!”
“We excuse ourselves for playing loudly and happily. You should try and sleep right away, so you won’t stay awake”.
“Yes, because we will initially have our dessert… Mmmmhhhh… It is good, and we will enjoy your shares…”
“A good dessert after a good lunch… It is good, but when you are punished, you cannot have any”.
“Er…uh..S… if… I… good… good afternoon… I go to bed…”
It is on the whimpering of my pitiful, faltering cousin, who causes the girls to laugh aloud, that I turn around and go to sleep. I already turned off my bedside lamp as does Danny. He turns off his lamp as well, we exchange a sober “good night” and I turn on my back. The girls enter shortly after while whispering and then burst out in laughter. The small neighbor accompanies our sisters.
“They are nice, in their beds”, notes the neighbor.
-“Oh, my big brother, only when he is in bed, does he let me alone in peace”, declares Edith.
“My own brother also annoys me often, but mom never punishes him. Here, that is much better. Aunt Helene puts him to bed as soon as he does a foolish thing, like Danny, even if he is already 18 years old! And all the better, in pyjamas, locked in his room all day, without light, or anything at all!”
We will tuck them in and leave them to prepare for beddy-byes…They already seem to be almost asleep”.
Gaby closes my drapes. I remain still, pretending to conceal my shame to be put to bed all afternoon, at 18 years, by my younger sister of 11 years!
“You could say thank-you to me”, she points out mockingly. “This was not because of me that Tantie punished you to bed, this is because you and Danny humiliated us”.
“Er…uh…yes…thank-you, little sister”. It seems to me that the words do not come out the way I want. At the same time, I blush with shame.
“Good night. Beddy-bye punished babies! Be good now. We will eat our dessert and yours. Afterwards, we will be free to do whatever we please! Since it is in fact so beautiful out, mom says we can remain up for as long as we want, even late tonight!”
“Even until what time?” reacts Danny.
“Oh…even after it is completely dark…at the least 11:00p.m., or later!”, she concludes with pleasure by my dissatisfied young cousin.
“THIS IS disgust…very unjust and unfair!”
“That, I will tell mom!”
“What?”
“That you said a swear word! She does not like that”.
“But…I did not say it!”
- “You had wanted to, you had started to! That is just like you; and in front of Christelle, over and over again!”
“Yes, I heard”, confirms the girl.
“Me too!” adds Gaby.
“No…please, Edith! I am likely to still be punished.
“Well done! You had only to be polite, one time! You will see…Good night!”
I intend to respond good night from my fresh, fluffy pillow, at 12:30p.m. This is what makes the girls laugh.
“Oh…for us, we have all the time before we go to sleep. We are not in bed as big babies, like you. We are not punished, like you. We have been kind, but not you”.
It was on this ultimate outcry of mockery, that the girls leave us confined and locked in. The darkness and silence have taken over. The voices and the stifled laughs of the young girls fade, as they go back downstairs where they have dessert with Aunt Hélène…It is without delay that I doze. When I emerge sometime later from a heavy sleep, it takes time for me to realize; where am I? What am I doing here? Undressed and put to bed? What time is it? This disturbance mixes difficulty with excitement and takes hold of me recalling the memory of my childish punishment. Aunt Hélène sending us to bed as punishment at 10:15am, in the morning in the presence of a 10 year old child and my young sister of 11 years…Me in babyish pyjamas at the window asking my cousin if I must close the shutters and sleep right away… The neighbors tucking me in my bed of puni… Edith and Gaby that bring us lunch, then to sleep at noon… and the bib and the bottle in the bed… The sarcasm of the little sisters of both Danny and me, really punished to bed for the day. The light of the sun filters between the shutters and blinds and the spaces between the curtains that Edith had taken care to join carefully before locking us in confinement. The joyous cries of little girls playing freely outside fills our room, to our pillows, that disturbs my feeling of shame. I recognize the voice of my sister and that of my cousin, because of which, Aunt Hélène punished us and because of that I am in bed since the middle of the morning, and for the remainder of the day…unless Tantie suspends the punishment and if I ask her for forgiveness… at least for me; after all, it was Danny that began annoying the girls… and since I am already 18 years old…perhaps she will have pity on me… Oh I am finished yet, I know all too well. She was clear: she has said that I would remain tucked in bed until tomorrow morning and that I would have to sleep right away after lunch, without dinner. And that our little sisters, have the right to play outside as they wish and to remain up until at least 11:00, or later in the evening!
I hear Danny stir in the bed next to me.
“Are you also awake?”
“Oh, one moment, we are here already?…You, you seemed to sleep well”.
“Er…uh…Yes…I have not heard or seen anything since the girls confined us… Do you know which hour it is?
“I heard the clock chime, indicating 2:45P.M., I think…”
“You do not have any watch?”
“No. Not when I am punished…”
“We soon will have a meal, do you think?”
“Oh, yes…but I am in no hurry since after that we will have to sleep for the night”.
“In any case, we do not have the right anymore to read or anything else…it does not change anything”.
“Hmmm…not so good….But, hush! Mom can hear us!”
I stay silent to avoid other punishments; still awake at the present, I hear the sounds more clearly, that rise from outside to our beds. Our little sisters always play laughing and shouting loudly and happily. They do not appear to be concerned about us, tucked away in our room with the shutters closed. In a way, I am relieved of not being the target of their sarcasms anymore. On the other hand, I find that what hurt our situation was becoming normal for the others! To be in bed in broad daylight, at 18 years, for enraging my cousin of 9 years on purpose! To this thought, a renewed emotion of anxiety, a mix of humiliation and of excitement, of frustration and of momentary pleasure, a sense of penitence and what sheets and blankets conceal to indiscretions…
I jump up as a child doing wrong when I hear the key being turned in the lock of the door, and I withdraw instantly my hand that caressed my lower stomach and turn towards the door without getting my head off my pillow.
“Then, our brats are awake? Our neighbor states mockingly.
She carries a tray and is followed by Aunt Hélène. The room brightens from the daylight in the hallway.
“Germaine, place Jean-Luc’s tray on the table. I will open the window awhile they eat. It is better to ventilate the room a bit before they sleep for the night”.
Tantie wears a yellow dress; Mrs. Grillon wears corsair red pants. Curtains drawn aside, shutters open to the wind, a bright sun suddenly illuminates the room of the punished to bed. The girls that play below shout for Aunt Hélène.
“Are they finished sleeping?” asks Edith.
“For the moment, yes. We bring them a light meal. We will soon have our afternoon tea; I will prepare it while Germaine deals with the punished… so stay nearby; I will call you when it is ready”.
A young girl asks:
“Will they still remain in beddy-byes after their meal?”
“Yes, yes. They will remain in bed. They are punished. After they eat, it is beddy-byes for them!”
“And for us, during this time, we will remain outside for as long as we wish. We will have fun late into this evening, also after dining, and even long after it gets dark!” points out Edith with enthusiasm.
Aunt Helene is at the point of going back downstairs, and repeats some instructions to her guest.
“Tie their bibs well… and they must sit up correctly to avoid spills… It is also necessary that they empty their pots when they go to the toilet… and that they do not forget to bring back them… Mrs. Grillon reassures her while laughing and assists us to sit up in our beds. She begins with me.
“Hello, young man. Well, why are you already in bed in the middle of the afternoon? You were not good?”
“Er…uh…Good-hello, Madam… er…uh…or-yes… Aunt Helene punished me…”
“Oh! You bad boy! Do you not have shame? At your age…”
“I… I was punished with Danny…”
“Well I see that your cousin is also in bed, but he is older, isn’t this true, Danny?”
“I will be 14 years old soon…”
“And you?”
“Er…uh…I…I…I…I…I am already 18 years old…”
“18 years? This is already the age of reason, no?”
“Er…uh…eh well… it is that we had made a big deal… it is Danny’s little sister who called Aunt Helene because the ball was not passed to her…”
“It is true, confirms my young cousin in his bed, Edith always gets me punished for almost nothing!”
“And as I played with Danny…”
“Helene was wise to put you both to bed! Such big babies you are! She did well!”
While speaking, she helps me to sit up, ties my bib on me, and positions the tray on my lap. In addition to the promised feeding-bottle, lukewarm mashed potatoes and a piece of bread.
- “There are potatoes and carrots, she explains to me, and milk with honey in the feeding-bottle. “Good appetite”. Helene said to me “And you will not have anything else”. She deals then with Danny, and then comes to sit down at the edge of my bed.
- “It is good?”
“Er…uh…eh well… that… that goes…”
“You do not appreciate baby food? To eat like the big ones, it would be necessary to behave himself like a big one and to avoid being punished like a baby!”
The fact of having a full mouth saves me from a response as pitiful as the one that I uttered before I was put to bed this morning. My case intrigues the visitor obviously.
“Then, young man, how do you happen to be punished? It must be tedious to be obliged to remain in bed all day during the holidays. Especially by a so good weather! More especially as the days are long in summer! You must find time long, in beddy-byes, in little boy pyjamas all day, while your little sisters can go outside and play in the sun”.
“Euh… yes… but… I slept a good long time this afternoon…”
“That, at least, is reasonable…”
“And you are often punished like that?”
“”NR… not… eu…ah…it is the first time…”
“The first time? At eighteen years?”
“Or-yes… mom always made me go to bed in punishment”
“You were so good until today? You astonish me!”
“It is that… mom is not as strict as Aunt Helene…”
“And Helene had to punish you whereas you have been on holiday only for a few days!”
“Yes, I arrived on Sunday”.
“Cheer! And two days later, you already do foolish things…”
“Er…uh…yes… eu…ah… but it was not quite serious, I find… eu…ah… I believe… Aunt Helene is strict…”
“Especially with us!” Danny intervenes. “She always believes my little sister!”
“A little girl should be well defended against big boys like you. You should show that you are more reasonable than your little sister… and, you, the older one of 18 years, even more!”
My nose reddens, in my plate.
“You give good reason not to be trusted…You should have shame. It is rather ridiculous to be obliged to take your afternoon meals in bed at 18 years because you deserved to be punished!”
“… Hurry now to finish your mashed potatoes. And also your milk feeding-bottle also, big baby! I will have to prepare you for beddy-byes”.
“It is that… eu…ah… I am not sleepy yet. I have just slept all afternoon”.
“So much better for you. It is your fault that you are already in bed all day, are you not?”
“S… if… but…”
“Go… I have something else to do than to remain at the bedside of an older young man punished to bed like a small kid. Helene will have soon finished preparing the tea for me and your little sisters. They are surely impatient to return outside to play. They do not have to go to bed, like you all day”.
My shame peaks when I must at last settle down after drinking my milk. Mrs. Grillon is unable to stop laughing in view of these two cousins punished to bed drinking from their feeding-bottles. I am not used to drinking the milk from the feeding-bottle, but I finish drinking the same time as Danny.
It is not even 3:00p.m. yet….
When I arrived for the first time with Tantie, while I was already 18 years, I did not remember ever having been punished to bed. We were just at the beginning of the long holidays; on a Tuesday, in the middle of the morning. We played ball on the garden lawn of Aunt Helene. There were my cousin Danny, 13 years old, his sister; Edith, 9 years old and my sister; Gaby, 11 years old, and two young neighbors both ten years of age. Both Danny and I monopolized the ball that annoyed the girls, particularly my cousin, Edith. She started to protest so violently that her cries attracted Aunt Helene. She shouted at us harshly. She said:
“This is the only intelligent thing for you to do? To embarrass younger girls than you? At your age, you should be ashamed!”
Danny tries to stretch the truth to satisfy himself.
“But…no…mom! We did nothing! We played…”
“This is what you call play? You scream at your young sister? Since you cannot include them, it is then necessary for you to return to bed! Both of
you! Immediately!”
There is at first, a great silence, and then a cacophony of reactions.
“Oh yes! Well done. To bed for the boys that embarrass us!” shouts Edith.
“Ooooh, noooo, mom, not that, not now, please…” moans Danny. “But, Tantie… This is all that happened”, he pronounces on the moment.
Gaby observes with curiosity. Both of Edith’s friends burst into laughter.
“They must go to bed! They must go to bed!
“Punished like babies!”
“They are big babies! They are big babies”!
“Boo-hoo, hoo, hoo! Big boys who embarrass small girls must go to bed before them”.
I am stunned but I try anyway to soften Aunt Hélène.
“Tantie, I want to ask for your forgiveness. This…it… were… not all mean. We only had a little argument with Edith and Gaby…”
“You behaved like babies. And when babies do stupid things, they are punished like babies! Go up to your room, undress and to bed! Right away!”
“But Tantie! It is only 10:15 in the morning and…”
“Keep silent and obey! You are no better than your cousin! You should show him good example and instead of that you do the same as him! Now you will go to bed! A spanking on your bare, if you are not in your little boy pyjamas in five minutes!”
The firmness by Aunt Helene brings joy to the girls and particularly of my young cousin.
“Yes; at last, I will be able to at least play quietly without these two older boys that do nothing but embarrass us”.
“Oh, you! This is not just! And then, it is always because of you that I am punished!” Danny protests.
“Enough!” his mother intervenes. “What I told your cousin, is also suitable for you!”
Danny is crying and angry when he goes inside before me and enters our room. He opens his bed furiously and starts to undress. On my side, I obeyed automatically. I did not at all realize what would come of me; to have to go to bed, as punishment, in the middle of the morning, like a disobedient baby, at 18 years! I did not also realize that I had to undress myself in front of the window open to the outside. I am not worried about the sun which continues to shine high up in the sky. Without thinking about anything, I fold down my bed, and hasten to undress and slowly put on my childish pyjamas, leaving my shoes and clothing. Danny does the same, while sniveling.
He complains about his little sister that she is the reason he is often spanked and punished to bed. He finds that his mom is too strict with him and always proves that Edith is right. We go to the toilet before going into bed to begin our punishment. The sight of the blue sky makes me ask my young cousin, my cheeks still wet of tears, but already in bed:
“Should the shutters also be closed?”
“Er…uh… I do not know… we are punished, but… it is necessary to ask mom”.
I call for Aunt Helene outdoors, but she does not answer. She is undoubtedly in the garden. I hesitate to show myself in the window, in my baby pyjamas, punished to bed at 18 years. My sister, my cousin and their girlfriend are playing just below and I am easily embarrassed that they can see me this way, but it is necessary. I risk being seen, but I do not see Tantie. I lean out a little more, in vain. The girls have not seen me, but I must resign myself to question my young cousin, whose cry has merit for us to be already in bed.
“Edith…” I call her gently. She does not hear me. “Edith!” She turns her head and shouts at me sternly.
“What are you doing there? You are not yet in bed?”
I reply pathetically.
“Er…uh…, yes, yes, I go. But… er…, I would like to ask something from Aunt Helene. You know where she is?”
“She is on the other side of the garden, talking with Mrs. Grillon. What do you want me to ask her?”
“I… I would like to know if I must close the shutters.”
“You did not ask my brother?”
“Er…uh…, if, but he told me to ask your mom”.
“He is already in bed at least”.
“Yes, yes; he is in bed”.
She shouts for her mother.
“Mom! Jean-Luc asks if he must close the shutters”.
I hear the response from the window.
“Obviously! I sent him to bed as punishment, not to read or play! Besides, he should already have his head on his pillow and go to sleep. He is at least undressed, I hope”.
“Yes. He is in pyjamas”.
“And Danny?”
“Jean-Luc told me he was already in bed… it appears that he did first!”
“He is good, providing that he isn’t sulky in bed! Good! Tell him that I will come up shortly to check that all is in order and that they obeyed well”.
Although it is pointless, she tells me the guidelines from her mother amidst the laughter and mockeries of my sister and the other young girls, before closing the shutters; I am subjected to their sarcastic remarks.
“Good night, big punished baby”, Edith belittles me. “And tell my brother that I am quite content that he is already in bed! He deserves it”.
“And you too”, Gaby adds proudly.
“To beddy-byes now, you bad baby punished to bed”, the little girl exclaims.
“Be good. Do not make wee in your bed!” shouted another.
“Yes. I hope that you did not forget your chamber-pots”. My young cousin points out to me.
The closed shutters and drawn curtains hardly lessen the laughter of the young girls below our window. The room is now descended into darkness, I see enough to find my bed and lie down. I am flabbergasted by what happened to me and the pain to understand it.
“Until when are we punished?” I ask Danny in the other bed.
“What do you think? We will have to remain in bed all day!”
“Ah, All day? All of the afternoon?”
“When mom punishes me to bed, in any case, it is like that!”
“Yes, but for me, it is the first time…”
“Good. You will see!”
“And, er… you… I… I must sleep?”
“If you do cannot, you can remain awake. But you are not allowed to get up or do anything. I do not have the right to make noise. It is better that mom does not want us to speak”.
“You believe? She said that she would be up soon to see if we obeyed”.
“Good. Then it is necessary to be silent! If not, you are likely to be punished again tomorrow”.
I turn my back to him in silence and settle in our room of punished. The laughter of the young girls is heard from our beds. I cannot imagine that they laugh at anyone else but us; especially of me, put to bed as punishment by day, at 18 years, like a troubled kid. To be silent was expected. I heard sounds on the stairs, then the door opened and Aunt Helene spoke with a soft voice.
“They seem to be calm now”, she observes.
“In any case, they are not causing a commotion, replies another female-intonated voice”.
Panic seizes me. Tantie invited somebody to see us; to see me in my bed as punishment. I react quickly to simulate sleep. Apparently, Danny does too.
“Is this your nephew who is lying in this bed?” Asks the visitor.
“Yes, it is Jean-Luc, the older boy of my sister Irene”.
“And how old is he?”
“He is 18 years old”.
“18 years? Already? It is rather rare to be punished to bed at that age!
“For the others, I do not know. But for him, it must be the first time. His mother is much more tolerant and permissive than I, especially with her son…”
“He had to be surely surprised to be sent to bed so early. He is much older all the same than your children, even Danny… You did not have any difficulty with him?”
“To make him prepare for bed already this morning? No… He was very, very surprised, that it is sure! But he hardly complained, and not less than his cousin! I gave him five minutes to put on his cute pyjamas. Afterwards, he remained quiet and obeyed”.
“Indeed! He looks suitable to be in his beddy-byes…How long has he been in bed?”
“Oh… 10:20a.m., I think! It was not yet 10:15am, when I made them undress and sleep…”
“Do you require them to wear pyjamas and a nightdress? How long will they have to remain in bed?”
“Today? All day of course! They are being punished! They will not be allowed up until tomorrow morning!”
“Even for meals? - Yes, yes! They will eat a light meal in bed at midday and at tea time. After that, they will sleep for the night”.
“Eh well, I hope they regret being obligated to spend all day and evening in bed during this beautiful sunshine!”
“What upsets Danny even more; is to be consigned to bed while his young sister can go and play outside, even late into in the evening”.
“For your nephew, it must be even more awkward, no?”
“Oh, perhaps, yes… but for me, that is part of the punishment…”
For the moment which was especially embarrassing for me; the presence of an outsider at the foot of my bed while I am in bed punished. As for the conversation of the two women, it was instructive, but not so reassuring for me.
“I see that Jean-Luc did not leave his clothes out of the room, Tantie notices. It will be necessary that he will be punished often, before being accustomed. Well, since they seem to be asleep, I will tuck them in and close the door until lunch…”
“Wait, I will help you”, suggests the visitor.
Without moving, she straightens my sheets and smoothes my pillow. Then, the two women leave the room. I hear the sound of the key turn in the lock, and then their steps fade as they go back downstairs. I open my eyes as I move to see, although vaguely that all of my clothes disappeared. Danny had also moved in his bed. I ask him in a whisper, who the visitor was.
“It was Mrs. Grillon, our neighbor… It is better that we do not speak… Good night, mom could hear us and keep us in bed all day tomorrow”.
I lay back on my pillow and the silence of the room was disturbed only by loud merry utterances and mockers of my young sister, my young cousin and their playmates, who come to scoff at us, punished to our beds. I do not have a watch, but I estimate that it must be between 10:30a.m., and 10:45a.m., in the morning. That meant many more hours to fret in bed until the next morning. I am experiencing certain contradictory feelings, of shame and frustration but also a mix of excitation and tenderness. I seemed to forget my cousin also punished in the bed nearby. The thought of my little, younger sister and my young cousin playing freely outside while I am consigned to bed for the day, disturbs me considerably, and disrupts my freedom; as a result I daydream to another place until lunch time. It repeats itself over and over in my mind; I am questioned constantly in front of our opened window, why already in baby pyjamas at 10:15am, in the morning, being addressed by a young girl of almost 10 years my junior, because I had just been punished to bed, to ask her piteously if I had to close the shutters and sleep immediately! The dream recurs. I reproach myself, in that my behavior was disgraceful for an older boy my age, and also unruly! When I think of rebelling, I repel it in my mind and accept my fate. I know that I should stay in bed, and obey as long as my punishment will last, considering the fact that my clothing had been confiscated, and that we are locked up in our room… I was surprised when lunch had soon arrived. It was the sound of the key in the lock, despite my weariness, that attracted my attention. Edith and Gaby entered while exclaiming loudly with mockery and annoyance:
“Here is the meal of the older punished babies!”
“Then, boys, were you well behaved in your beds?”
“I hope that we weren’t too loud while playing outside…”
-“… and that we did not prevent you from sleeping…”
-“We played so much better since you were put to bed”, one says laughing.
-“Yes, we weren’t even concerned about you, and could play with the ball without your annoyance of keeping it from us…!”
Edith lights my bedside lamp and obligates us to prepare for lunch.
“Let’s go, sit up in your bed cousin! She curtly demands, as she places a tray on my lap, then sets down a feeding-bottle. Gaby did the same for baby Danny.
“He has had enough practice and will be able to show you what to do. I will deal with my baby cousin. It is the first time that mom had introduced him to bed punishment. He is older than my brother but he is not used to it yet”.
“The shutters are not yet opened?” asks Gaby.
“No, no, that is not allowed. After lunch and the feeding-bottle; beddy-byes for the punished!”
“Great! I approve!” my little sister said with enthusiasm.
My young cousin treats me with formality and firmness, as she helps me to sit up.
“Let’s go! You are not sick, you are being punished!”
She orders me to sit up, sternly. She fluffs the pillow behind my back, and then ties a bib around my neck; a pale blue bib with a white rabbit motif! This time, I refuse to accept it, but she raps my hand which I had placed in front of me.
“Behave, older punished baby! You would not like to make a mess on your lovely pyjamas, all the same, since you must stay in bed until tomorrow, so do not forget!” my young cousin reprimanded me. “If you spill anything in your bed, mom would be very, very annoyed; you would most likely be spanked bare bottom and consigned to bed a good long time! Ask Danny! It is so for that reason that he must drink from the feeding-bottle, when punished to bed”.
“But… Edith… I… I do not know if I can do this….”
“Babies do this very well…”
“Yes but… I am not a baby any more… I am 18 years old…”
“Yeah… Mum punished you as a baby because you acted like a baby… a big 18 year old baby but a baby… Hurry now to finish your meal and drink your feeding-bottle. It is an herbal tea, that will hasten you to fall asleep, and so you won’t stay up; that is your punishment!”
Our lunch consisted of spinach and eggs in a dish, fitting with the extent of a punishment. Danny and I resign ourselves to eat it. I see that, he wears a yellow bib with a blue teddy bear motif over his pink and white nightdress. Edith invites my little sister to come down to lunch and gives us her last instructions.
“When you finish, bring your plates and feeding-bottles downstairs to the kitchen, then brush your teeth and immediately get into bed… Do not waste time, if so, you will sleep in bed all day tomorrow! Good appetite, punished babies!”
They leave bursting into a loud laughter. Danny expresses himself by grumbling his bitter, deep-seated ill will against his little sister, responsible for our early and forced confinement. I still admit unpleasantly that I will have to pass the time in bed as punishment for the remainder of this splendid day of the holidays, all of the afternoon and all of the evening!
“You… do you believe that if you apologized to Aunt Helene, that she would allow us to get up this afternoon?”
I try to make my cousin see that it is of no use to ask for a reprieve.
“Then you are mistaken! It is far better to say nothing, and remain in bed until tomorrow morning!”
Not even for a short time? We could at least be allowed up this afternoon and return to bed earlier this evening…”
“Oh, no, you will see. There will be more occasions to go to bed early in the evening… even without being punished. But for today, it is finished. It is bedtime for us, at 10:00am, already in the morning…”
We swallow our spinach in silence. I hesitate to take the feeding-bottle posed beside my bedside table. Danny informs me.
“It is necessary to drink all of it, if not mom will not be content, and since you are already punished… You will see it is not so difficult”.
“You often drink… eu…uh… like that?”
“When I am in bed…”
“As punishment?”
“Yes… or when I must sleep earlier and when mom already puts me down before dining”.
“Why?”
“Oh… that depends… on the times, it could be because she leaves for the evening… or because she has visitors…”
“Your little sister also, then?”
“Oh, in general, when mom is occupied for the evening, Edith will sleep at one of her girlfriends… Moreover it is often that she makes me sleep before leaving. I remain quiet, but disturbed about it. I obey her and take the feeding-bottle to my mouth and start to suck the nipple. With the first mouthful, I start to choke. At the second, I start to cough. From the third, I swallow correctly”.
Danny of course finished before me. He places his plate on the floor and gets out of bed. Before going down, he waits until I also finish, I am grateful. The idea to be seen in my little boy pyjamas by Tantie, my sister and my cousin worries and disturbs me at the same time. All the same, I am accompanied by Danny, in his nightdress. My heart beats fast and my rate of adrenalin increases, as I descend the stairs. It is my little sister who notices us first.
“Ah. Here are the punished babies, and they have finished their lunch!”
“And their feeding-bottles too, I hope?” Edith replies mockingly.
The laughter of yet another young girl reveals to me the presence at the table of one of the neighbors witnessing our punishment.
“It is so funny, to see two big boys already in bed because they were malicious with little girls… Will they remain in bed this afternoon?”
“Yes! It is quite normal”, answers Edith firmly.
“Oh, you! Species of…” Danny does not finish his retort to his sister.
“And you, you may find it beneficial to conceal your feelings and go straight to bed”, his mother intervenes, and the girls laugh. “I have the impression that you seek a spanking!”
We move in haste towards the kitchen. Aunt Helene orders us to rinse our plates and our feeding-bottles. We obey before going back up.
“Brush your teeth and make wee before going into your bed. And empty your chamber-pots”.
“I did not use mine”, answers Danny.
“Me, either…”
“Rinse them nevertheless. It is better”.
The tone is such that I give up asking for a lessened reprieve to bed. Danny was right, for both of us; we will be in bed and do nothing else until tomorrow, that is too strict! Despite that, I go so far as to ask a question.
“Will Euh… Tantie… we also dine in bed?”
“No dinner for punished babies!” Exclaims Edith.
“Edith is right and Danny knows it well. You will have a milk feeding-bottle to drink and that is all!”
“Afterwards, beddy-byes for the night!” Delights my young cousin.
“Like the babies”, the small neighbor announces.
“But it will still be daylight for yet a long time…!” This vain thought is unpleasant to me.
“Well done for you, my baby brother. When you act like a baby, you go to bed like a baby. And you must immediately go to beddy-byes after your feeding-bottle!”
I start to blush but am unable to answer. I try to disguise my outward appearance, while asking in a pale voice:
“Do Euh… Tantie… I have to sleep also this afternoon? Immediately? All the time?”
“You do not have anything better to do, I believe. After what you drank from the feeding-bottle, you will go sound sleep. In any case, you are prohibited to stay up, read, turn on the light, and to speak with your cousin. If you cannot go to sleep immediately, all the better; but with the monitor, I can hear all that occurs in your room and if one of you disobeys then you both will be punished! Spankings and consigned to the bed! Understood?”
“Euh… yes… Aunt Helene…”
“Then, go to beddy-byes! Quietly too! Your sisters will come up in five minutes to check on you to see if you behaved, to prepare you and to close and lock your door”. She accompanies her peremptory order by a slap on my buttocks.
“Yes, Tantie…” Is my only answer.
Physically, I have yet another reaction which I dissimulate while turning over and by gaining ground hastily. I will seek my chamber-pot, crossing the room to go back to the toilet, brush my teeth, and return to our room. In passing, the sarcastic remarks start again.
“Good night, you who is punished in baby pyjamas”, Gaby says as she bursts out laughing.
“We girls will play outside, all of this afternoon. You, big boys, will remain all that time in bed!”
“We excuse ourselves for playing loudly and happily. You should try and sleep right away, so you won’t stay awake”.
“Yes, because we will initially have our dessert… Mmmmhhhh… It is good, and we will enjoy your shares…”
“A good dessert after a good lunch… It is good, but when you are punished, you cannot have any”.
“Er…uh..S… if… I… good… good afternoon… I go to bed…”
It is on the whimpering of my pitiful, faltering cousin, who causes the girls to laugh aloud, that I turn around and go to sleep. I already turned off my bedside lamp as does Danny. He turns off his lamp as well, we exchange a sober “good night” and I turn on my back. The girls enter shortly after while whispering and then burst out in laughter. The small neighbor accompanies our sisters.
“They are nice, in their beds”, notes the neighbor.
-“Oh, my big brother, only when he is in bed, does he let me alone in peace”, declares Edith.
“My own brother also annoys me often, but mom never punishes him. Here, that is much better. Aunt Helene puts him to bed as soon as he does a foolish thing, like Danny, even if he is already 18 years old! And all the better, in pyjamas, locked in his room all day, without light, or anything at all!”
We will tuck them in and leave them to prepare for beddy-byes…They already seem to be almost asleep”.
Gaby closes my drapes. I remain still, pretending to conceal my shame to be put to bed all afternoon, at 18 years, by my younger sister of 11 years!
“You could say thank-you to me”, she points out mockingly. “This was not because of me that Tantie punished you to bed, this is because you and Danny humiliated us”.
“Er…uh…yes…thank-you, little sister”. It seems to me that the words do not come out the way I want. At the same time, I blush with shame.
“Good night. Beddy-bye punished babies! Be good now. We will eat our dessert and yours. Afterwards, we will be free to do whatever we please! Since it is in fact so beautiful out, mom says we can remain up for as long as we want, even late tonight!”
“Even until what time?” reacts Danny.
“Oh…even after it is completely dark…at the least 11:00p.m., or later!”, she concludes with pleasure by my dissatisfied young cousin.
“THIS IS disgust…very unjust and unfair!”
“That, I will tell mom!”
“What?”
“That you said a swear word! She does not like that”.
“But…I did not say it!”
- “You had wanted to, you had started to! That is just like you; and in front of Christelle, over and over again!”
“Yes, I heard”, confirms the girl.
“Me too!” adds Gaby.
“No…please, Edith! I am likely to still be punished.
“Well done! You had only to be polite, one time! You will see…Good night!”
I intend to respond good night from my fresh, fluffy pillow, at 12:30p.m. This is what makes the girls laugh.
“Oh…for us, we have all the time before we go to sleep. We are not in bed as big babies, like you. We are not punished, like you. We have been kind, but not you”.
It was on this ultimate outcry of mockery, that the girls leave us confined and locked in. The darkness and silence have taken over. The voices and the stifled laughs of the young girls fade, as they go back downstairs where they have dessert with Aunt Hélène…It is without delay that I doze. When I emerge sometime later from a heavy sleep, it takes time for me to realize; where am I? What am I doing here? Undressed and put to bed? What time is it? This disturbance mixes difficulty with excitement and takes hold of me recalling the memory of my childish punishment. Aunt Hélène sending us to bed as punishment at 10:15am, in the morning in the presence of a 10 year old child and my young sister of 11 years…Me in babyish pyjamas at the window asking my cousin if I must close the shutters and sleep right away… The neighbors tucking me in my bed of puni… Edith and Gaby that bring us lunch, then to sleep at noon… and the bib and the bottle in the bed… The sarcasm of the little sisters of both Danny and me, really punished to bed for the day. The light of the sun filters between the shutters and blinds and the spaces between the curtains that Edith had taken care to join carefully before locking us in confinement. The joyous cries of little girls playing freely outside fills our room, to our pillows, that disturbs my feeling of shame. I recognize the voice of my sister and that of my cousin, because of which, Aunt Hélène punished us and because of that I am in bed since the middle of the morning, and for the remainder of the day…unless Tantie suspends the punishment and if I ask her for forgiveness… at least for me; after all, it was Danny that began annoying the girls… and since I am already 18 years old…perhaps she will have pity on me… Oh I am finished yet, I know all too well. She was clear: she has said that I would remain tucked in bed until tomorrow morning and that I would have to sleep right away after lunch, without dinner. And that our little sisters, have the right to play outside as they wish and to remain up until at least 11:00, or later in the evening!
I hear Danny stir in the bed next to me.
“Are you also awake?”
“Oh, one moment, we are here already?…You, you seemed to sleep well”.
“Er…uh…Yes…I have not heard or seen anything since the girls confined us… Do you know which hour it is?
“I heard the clock chime, indicating 2:45P.M., I think…”
“You do not have any watch?”
“No. Not when I am punished…”
“We soon will have a meal, do you think?”
“Oh, yes…but I am in no hurry since after that we will have to sleep for the night”.
“In any case, we do not have the right anymore to read or anything else…it does not change anything”.
“Hmmm…not so good….But, hush! Mom can hear us!”
I stay silent to avoid other punishments; still awake at the present, I hear the sounds more clearly, that rise from outside to our beds. Our little sisters always play laughing and shouting loudly and happily. They do not appear to be concerned about us, tucked away in our room with the shutters closed. In a way, I am relieved of not being the target of their sarcasms anymore. On the other hand, I find that what hurt our situation was becoming normal for the others! To be in bed in broad daylight, at 18 years, for enraging my cousin of 9 years on purpose! To this thought, a renewed emotion of anxiety, a mix of humiliation and of excitement, of frustration and of momentary pleasure, a sense of penitence and what sheets and blankets conceal to indiscretions…
I jump up as a child doing wrong when I hear the key being turned in the lock of the door, and I withdraw instantly my hand that caressed my lower stomach and turn towards the door without getting my head off my pillow.
“Then, our brats are awake? Our neighbor states mockingly.
She carries a tray and is followed by Aunt Hélène. The room brightens from the daylight in the hallway.
“Germaine, place Jean-Luc’s tray on the table. I will open the window awhile they eat. It is better to ventilate the room a bit before they sleep for the night”.
Tantie wears a yellow dress; Mrs. Grillon wears corsair red pants. Curtains drawn aside, shutters open to the wind, a bright sun suddenly illuminates the room of the punished to bed. The girls that play below shout for Aunt Hélène.
“Are they finished sleeping?” asks Edith.
“For the moment, yes. We bring them a light meal. We will soon have our afternoon tea; I will prepare it while Germaine deals with the punished… so stay nearby; I will call you when it is ready”.
A young girl asks:
“Will they still remain in beddy-byes after their meal?”
“Yes, yes. They will remain in bed. They are punished. After they eat, it is beddy-byes for them!”
“And for us, during this time, we will remain outside for as long as we wish. We will have fun late into this evening, also after dining, and even long after it gets dark!” points out Edith with enthusiasm.
Aunt Helene is at the point of going back downstairs, and repeats some instructions to her guest.
“Tie their bibs well… and they must sit up correctly to avoid spills… It is also necessary that they empty their pots when they go to the toilet… and that they do not forget to bring back them… Mrs. Grillon reassures her while laughing and assists us to sit up in our beds. She begins with me.
“Hello, young man. Well, why are you already in bed in the middle of the afternoon? You were not good?”
“Er…uh…Good-hello, Madam… er…uh…or-yes… Aunt Helene punished me…”
“Oh! You bad boy! Do you not have shame? At your age…”
“I… I was punished with Danny…”
“Well I see that your cousin is also in bed, but he is older, isn’t this true, Danny?”
“I will be 14 years old soon…”
“And you?”
“Er…uh…I…I…I…I…I am already 18 years old…”
“18 years? This is already the age of reason, no?”
“Er…uh…eh well… it is that we had made a big deal… it is Danny’s little sister who called Aunt Helene because the ball was not passed to her…”
“It is true, confirms my young cousin in his bed, Edith always gets me punished for almost nothing!”
“And as I played with Danny…”
“Helene was wise to put you both to bed! Such big babies you are! She did well!”
While speaking, she helps me to sit up, ties my bib on me, and positions the tray on my lap. In addition to the promised feeding-bottle, lukewarm mashed potatoes and a piece of bread.
- “There are potatoes and carrots, she explains to me, and milk with honey in the feeding-bottle. “Good appetite”. Helene said to me “And you will not have anything else”. She deals then with Danny, and then comes to sit down at the edge of my bed.
- “It is good?”
“Er…uh…eh well… that… that goes…”
“You do not appreciate baby food? To eat like the big ones, it would be necessary to behave himself like a big one and to avoid being punished like a baby!”
The fact of having a full mouth saves me from a response as pitiful as the one that I uttered before I was put to bed this morning. My case intrigues the visitor obviously.
“Then, young man, how do you happen to be punished? It must be tedious to be obliged to remain in bed all day during the holidays. Especially by a so good weather! More especially as the days are long in summer! You must find time long, in beddy-byes, in little boy pyjamas all day, while your little sisters can go outside and play in the sun”.
“Euh… yes… but… I slept a good long time this afternoon…”
“That, at least, is reasonable…”
“And you are often punished like that?”
“”NR… not… eu…ah…it is the first time…”
“The first time? At eighteen years?”
“Or-yes… mom always made me go to bed in punishment”
“You were so good until today? You astonish me!”
“It is that… mom is not as strict as Aunt Helene…”
“And Helene had to punish you whereas you have been on holiday only for a few days!”
“Yes, I arrived on Sunday”.
“Cheer! And two days later, you already do foolish things…”
“Er…uh…yes… eu…ah… but it was not quite serious, I find… eu…ah… I believe… Aunt Helene is strict…”
“Especially with us!” Danny intervenes. “She always believes my little sister!”
“A little girl should be well defended against big boys like you. You should show that you are more reasonable than your little sister… and, you, the older one of 18 years, even more!”
My nose reddens, in my plate.
“You give good reason not to be trusted…You should have shame. It is rather ridiculous to be obliged to take your afternoon meals in bed at 18 years because you deserved to be punished!”
“… Hurry now to finish your mashed potatoes. And also your milk feeding-bottle also, big baby! I will have to prepare you for beddy-byes”.
“It is that… eu…ah… I am not sleepy yet. I have just slept all afternoon”.
“So much better for you. It is your fault that you are already in bed all day, are you not?”
“S… if… but…”
“Go… I have something else to do than to remain at the bedside of an older young man punished to bed like a small kid. Helene will have soon finished preparing the tea for me and your little sisters. They are surely impatient to return outside to play. They do not have to go to bed, like you all day”.
My shame peaks when I must at last settle down after drinking my milk. Mrs. Grillon is unable to stop laughing in view of these two cousins punished to bed drinking from their feeding-bottles. I am not used to drinking the milk from the feeding-bottle, but I finish drinking the same time as Danny.
It is not even 3:00p.m. yet….
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