Saturday 17 September 2016

Another archive PPM letter about a wayward son who has to wear pink baby mittens

Dear Nanny Smackbottom

Thank you so much for writing to me with your suggestions regarding my son Philip, I am delighted to reveal the results of your advice to your readers.

As I informed you, my fifteen year old son Philip liked to think himself rather a tough young man when in reality he is small for his age and rather puny. To justify himself in his own eyes he resorted to bullying younger boys and even worse, young girls.

I tried to keep him in line with various punishments but nothing seemed to curb his bullying ways until I thankfully contacted your goodself.

No matter how many times I bought Philip gloves he always contrived to lose them, apparently, to him, wearing gloves made him look effeminate.

So, as you suggested, I knitted him some lovely pink woolly mittens with frilly white borders to thread through his macho type "bomber" jacket and then I thought it would be a better idea to not only thread them through the sleeves, but to sew them in very small stitching so that they could not removed.

As I set to work on the task, his sister, thirteen year old Melanie, suggested I sew on his initials with red stitching and modify his jacket by sewing up the pockets and adding a very tight elastic at the wrists so that the mittens hung unhindered daintily from the jacket.

When he went to put his jacket on and spotted the woolen mittens, he threw such a childish tantrum, but again after following your advice, I put him across my knee for a smacked bottom, he sulkily put on his jacket.

He really did look quite silly as I made him put his hands into the mittens took him outside. We walked down the road with Philip holding my hand to the park where his victims, the little girls and boys were playing.

I made him apologise for his behaviour to each boy and girl. At first they were quite fearful until they realised he was completely under my control and once they saw his frilly pink mittens they took their revenge and teased him mercilessly.



Before we left I produced a baby's dummy from my pocket, another of your excellent suggestions, and he was horrified! I really did enjoy pushing it between his lips and getting him to wave his mittened hand bye-bye to the children.

I must admit as you predicted Nanny, one he experienced some babification therapy, he had almost immediately become quite docile and obedient.

I experienced a delightful moment last week when my daughter volunteered  to 'babysit' him whilst I popped to the shops for something for our tea.

When I returned I found Philip standing in the corner with his hands on his head in tears wearing his blue striped winceyette pyjamas and sucking on his dummy!

Philip had stopped wearing his pyjamas to bed last year and yet here he was all ready for bed at five thirty.

Melanie calmly explained that she had secretly filmed him wearing his pink mittens and using his dummy and had threatened to post the video to a social media site, exposing his humiliation to everyone unless he did as he was told.

Usually Philip takes his food from the table to his bedroom and it was marvellous to eat together as a family with Philip dressed in his pyjamas.

As we ate, Melanie suggested it would be a good idea if Philip had a regular five o'clock pyjama time and a seven o'clock bedtime to which I readily agreed. Of course there were tears and tantrums from Philip but after another trip across my lap he was easily persuaded to comply.

I now have an extremely well behaved son who wears his pink mittens and sucks his dummy as he is tucked into bed wearing his striped pyjamas.

Once again Nanny Smackbottom thank you for your invaluable advice

Mrs Martingale

Dear Mrs Martingale

I can't tell you how pleased I am that you took my advice and that your son is now a reformed character. It is quite amazing what a pair of pink mittens and a baby's dummy can do. I must also congratulate your daughter Melanie on her contribution to Philip's improved behaviour, a strict pyjama and bedtime is always efficacious in disciplining a wayward male of any age.

Nanny Smackbottom 


2 comments:

  1. Just the way to keep a naughty boy in line and remind him of his place Been made to get into his pyjamas by his younger sister is just the medicine he needs

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  2. I think Malenie should have the freedom of delivering smacked bottoms to Philip if he does not do as she says also...every daughter should be taught that very young so they know how to treat their boys later on...

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