"Girls, want to live life in the fast lane? Come and join me. I am a well-endowed, independent male who is seeking a female to share my exciting lifestyle. OHAC. Only genuine thrill seekers need apply!"
“You silly little boy, a pokey one bed flat and a fifteen year old Fiesta will hardly impress will it?” Aunty asked with mirth.
“You forgot to mention that you spend most of your time here with us wearing pyjamas and doing the washing up before we put you to bed!” Added Mrs Jacobson.
“And well-endowed? If you think that tiny todger of yours is anything to brag about you are sadly mistaken. I doubt you could satisfy any woman with that teeny tiny thing.” She laughed before aunty continued.
“Thrill seekers? Fast Lane? My goodness, yesterday we had you in your pyjamas ready for bed by 3pm and you spent an hour with your colouring book before we tucked you into bed for an early night! Thrill seeker indeed, remember the last time I caught you trying to, “thrill” yourself I put you across my knee for a bedtime spanking and that’s why you wear that chastity device when we allow you to go home you ridiculous boy. And as for the fast lane, well if you count pushing a shopping trolley around the supermarket then yes, I suppose it is the fast lane!”
Once Aunty and Mrs Jacobson had composed themselves they then decided to re-write my ad. At first I refused to let them access my account but after a trip across aunty’s lap I suddenly remembered my password.
“Girls, want to go out with a sissy boy wimp? I own a pee-pee that my aunty encases in a CB6000S chastity device, the S stand for small. My life is so exciting; I am usually in my sissy pyjamas by 6pm at the latest and I enjoy taking my Teddy bear to beddy-byes, In fact Teddy is the only thing I have ever taken to bed apart from a well smacked botty. Only dominant females who enjoy making naughty little boys sing for their supper need apply.”
Mrs Jacobson then produced the pictures she has taken of me wearing my most sissyish, infantile pyjamas and attached them to my ad. Aunty and Mrs Jacobson have promised to invite anyone who replies to the ad to visit and witness for themselves how I live life in the "fast lane" with my early bedtime and pyjama punishment imposed regime.
Excellent, Wincy! I feel sure the responses to 'your' ad will come flooding in and when Aunty and Mrs Jacobson have had chance to sift through them, perhaps we can be treated to a brief selection.
ReplyDeleteBTW I love the jim-jams in the picture with the furry yellow duck... looks like someone has just got out of bed without permission and forgotten to put his slippers on!
mogg, I fear the worst as aunty has already indicated they have had some "interesting", responses.
ReplyDeleteThe picture of me and Mr Quackers was taken when aunty decided to treat me to a weekend away in a nice hotel. (For which I paid for.) Of course I incurred her wrath somehow and had been put to bed early, aunty was in the dining room having dinner when the alarm went off. I was dragged from my bed by a chamber maid and in my sleepy haze automatically grabbed Mr Quackers, even before we could exit a false alarm was proclaimed. By then aunty had appeared and much to my embarrassment took a picture to forward to the maid who was most intrigued by the man in the little boy pyjamas carrying a yellow duck!
Hi Wincey, I'm surprised your Aunt and Mrs Jacobson haven't thought of the
ReplyDeleteexcellent Miss Jones a stalwart member of the sewing circle? I think she'd make
an ideal girlfriend and furure wife for you!
Hi Gordan
ReplyDeletePlease don't pursue that line of thought. Mrs Sykes-Patterson and Mrs Jacobson correspond quite often and the thought of having to wear pyjamas created by Miss Jones is not a pleasing one. Can you imagine the sort of life I would lead with the formidable Miss Jones in control of it? I shudder at the very thought of being permanently pyjamaed by Miss Jones and being introduced into Mrs SP's circle. I feel for poor Lionel suffering at their hands but rather him than me.