Silent Night

The music blared loudly from Primrose Cottage;
next-door, sisters Miss Agatha Cathcart and Miss Hilda Cathcart thumped
desperately on the wall to no avail.

Both ladies were desperate to become unacquainted
with Ozzie Osborne. Noel meanwhile, idly sifted through his almost infinite Black Sabbath vinyl collection.

Christmas Eve morning and the two Ladies are nursing their Earl Grey in the village tea-shop. What had Evelyn Jessup been thinking of to let her
seventeen-year-old nephew stay alone in her cottage while she visited her
daughter at Christmas? This could not go on.

Noel was surprised when asked to assist Miss Cathcart and Miss Cathcart to put up their Christmas decorations. After all, he had been quite dismissive when they had asked him to turn down his music; he liked loud music.

Still, no harm in giving the two old dears a hand, he thought.

Perched precariously as he was at the top of the ladder it may well have been an accident waiting to happen, nevertheless, when Agatha accidentally closed the living room door trapping his fingers in the door frame, this caused him to topple from the ladder, as he fell, he grabbed the bare live wire with his other hand. The shock then threw him backwards. He landed awkwardly and let out a scream as his knee buckled beneath him.

‘You poor boy, are you hurt? Queried Hilda, as he lay at her feet in a crumpled mess.

He tried to stand but the pain from his knee was too much to bear and he sank to the floor. The fingers on his left hand were already swollen and painful and his right hand was badly blistered from the electrical burn.
The two ladies got him to his feet and somehow manoeuvred him into their spare bedroom lowering him onto the pink floral patterned bedspread and rested his head onto the matching, frilly pillow.

‘Get me an ambulance,’ he wailed pitifully.

‘Don’t be such a baby, superficial injuries at best. Hilda and I are well capable of nursing you,’

Agatha said dismissively as she
began to remove his trousers.

‘Stop! What are you doing.’

‘We need you naked to assess your injuries, now be
quiet.’

He lay on the bed, totally helpless as the two women divested him of his
clothing. When he was completely naked the two ladies set about dressing the
burn on one hand and strapping his fingers together on the other.

His painful knee was prodded and probed until they decided to administer a strapping and
announce only immediate immobilisation for at least a week would cure the problem.

‘Well Noel it looks as if you are to be our guest
for Christmas,’ Agatha announced gazing down at his naked body and sniffing
distastefully.

‘It seems young man that you are in need of a wash. Hilda, a bowl of water and a sponge, please. Time for this little boy to be given his first sponge bath!’

‘My what a baby you are.' scolded Agatha.

‘But you’re hurting and the water is cold,’he whined.

Agatha Cathcart lifted up his tiny wee-wee. ‘I don’t think
the cold water has affected this wee Willie- Winky,’ she laughed.

‘Right all done, now let’s get you into some cosy
jim-jams and tucked into beddy-byes.’

‘Pyjamas!’ I’m not wearing pyjamas, they are for
sissies.’

‘You will wear pyjamas because we insist upon it, young man,
we are not having you naked between our clean flannelette sheets.’

Noel watched as Hilda opened a drawer and removed a
pair of pyjamas.

‘No not those,’ he cried. No, I won’t wear them!’

Hilda smiled as she held up the pale pink, floral
patterned winceyette pyjamas.
‘Do you think we keep a supply of men’s pyjamas you silly boy?
Besides, these will keep you nice and cosy.’

Noel could do nothing to prevent the two ladies as they covered his
nakedness in pink floral winceyette.
‘ Does our sweet little babykins feel all cosy-wosy in
his jimmy-jams then?’

Noel was enveloped in the voluminous pyjamas and
soon he found himself tightly tucked into bed underneath frilly pink bedspreads and flannelette
sheets and pillowcases.

‘Off to sleepy byes now for a nice long nap.
Oh do be quiet, your cries are almost as
loud as that dreadful music you play. Be quiet at once!’
Noel was abruptly silenced by the insertion of a
baby’s dummy into his mouth. Agatha tied it tightly with a ribbon around his head
and patted his cheek.

‘We told you to be quiet, perhaps this will teach
you to do as you are told.’

The curtains were drawn and Noel was left tucked up
in bed in the artificial darkness at eleven am.

Was it a bad dream? No. Noel woke to find he really
was wearing ladies pale pink floral winceyette pyjamas and tucked tightly into
bed with a baby’s dummy fixed firmly into his mouth.

The two women entered carrying a tray. Noel was
propped up with pillows.
‘Hmm, time for your din-dins,’ Hilda said removing
his dummy.

Noel was force fed a concoction of pureed vegetables. He gagged at each mouthful.

'I think a baby’s bib would be in order don’t you
Agatha dear?’

Noel tried to protest as the towelling bib with a
baby duckling printed upon it was fastened around his neck but a spoonful of
gooey mush interrupted him.

When he had finally swallowed the last mouthful Agatha
cleaned the food that smeared his face and tucked him tightly into his bedtime prison once again.

Hilda sat on his bed. Helpless as he was it was a simple matter for her to push the teat of the
baby bottle into his mouth. He almost choked a few times as the warm, sweet
milky liquid cascaded into his throat. Eventually, he was forced to empty the bottle.
Hilda wiped his mouth with his bib and quickly re-tied his dummy.

Agatha, who had been hovering nearby, pulled back the
bedclothes and removed Noel’s floral pyjama bottoms.

‘We need to take a few precautions,’ she said
pinning him into three thick fluffy nappies.
Once we put you down for beddy-byes
that is where you will stay, no jaunts to the bathroom for you, your nappies
will keep our flannelette sheets nice and dry.’

She covered the nappies by positioning a pair of pink plastic baby
pants over them.

‘And these,’ she said triumphantly, ‘will complete
your Christmas lunch outfit.’

Noel’s eyes bulged.

‘Oh yes,’ she laughed you will be fed your din-dins
tomorrow just as if you were a helpless baby dressed just the way you are now.’

Agatha eased Noel's legs back into his pink
winceyette pyjama bottoms. One he was attired the way they wanted he has tucked
into bed once again.

‘Off to sleepy-byes sweet little Noel and when you
wake up Santa will have been’

‘Mmm.!’
Noel was
being put to bed for the night at two pm!

‘You’re the first Noel we have ever had spend time
with us as our guest.’
They said waving ‘Nighty-night’ to him as they
closed the bedroom door.

That night, the two sisters sank into their beds wistfully
thinking of the special Christmas present they had given themselves and
gratefully listened to the sound of silence.