Early bed and pyjama times for Tommy. A PPM letter from the archives.

Dear Nanny Smackbottom

My sixteen-year-old-year-old son Tommy is a well-behaved but diminutive boy and now that he has left school I want to protect him and keep him sweet and innocent for as long as I can. So you can imagine how pleased I was to discover your publication which seems to be guided by a similar agenda.

I still put Tommy into nappies at bedtime as he wets every night so sadly protection is a necessity. Recently, however, he somehow got it into his mind that he was a big boy and didn't need mummy to put him into his soft fluffy nappies any longer, of course, I had to correct this misconception. 

We recently moved to a new area and it was my turn to host my first neighbourhood ladies get together. That evening I told Tommy to take his bath early at 5 pm, he protested of course but he knows very well not to make too much of a fuss when I've made up my mind. 

My first guest Mrs Matthews, arrived before he was out of the bath and we'd only been chatting briefly when I heard Tommy upstairs leaving the bathroom. I immediately called for him to come down into the living room but he called back that he wanted to get dressed in clean day clothes first. 

Of course, I was having none of this nonsense and told him that after bath time it’s always pyjama time no matter what the hour is and to get himself downstairs at once unless he wanted a trip across my lap.

Eventually, he appeared looking sheepish with his towel still wrapped around his waist and barely taking his eyes off the floor. 

I'm not sure if Mrs Matthews had already noticed the pair of pyjamas and the nappy I'd draped over the radiator but Tommy certainly did. After I made him politely greet Mrs Matthews, I undid his towel and told him to lie down. He was reluctant to do so at first since his nappies had been something of a secret between us up until now but he quickly did as he told once he realised how determined I was.

Boys bed-wetting problems were not unfamiliar to Mrs Matthews and I explained to her that I'd expected such a busy evening that I wanted to make sure I could tuck him straight in come to his bedtime. She voiced her approval and said she ensures her son David is safely buttoned into his jimmy-jams well before his  9 pm bedtime.

I enquired how old David was, even though I knew the answer and looked pointedly at Tommy when she confirmed her son’s age as eighteen. Mrs Matthews then looked at Tommy and stated that he seemed like such an infantile little boy for his age that she wasn't at all surprised that he still wore a nappy to bed. He'd already been blushing but he turned bright red upon hearing her remark. 

Once Tommy was lying on his nappy, I rubbed a little cream into and around his little boy bits and then talcumed the area as he is prone to nappy rash. Tommy is quite hairless and has yet to manifest any signs of puberty except, unfortunately when I cream and talc his tiny pee-pee.

On this occasion, despite his being nappied in front of a stranger he began to respond to mummy’s  actions and I had to administer two sharp slaps to the inside of his thighs to calm him before quickly proceeding to ensure his nappy was pinned very securely in place.

Mrs Matthews, who was watching me intently, of course, noticed and eased my discomfort by assuring me that her eighteen-year-old son David was just the same when she gave him his bath. Nevertheless, I was immensely grateful it was time for Tommy to be put into his jimmy-jams.

One of the things I insist upon is that he wears little boy pyjamas, of course, I select them for him otherwise he'd be sure to choose completely unsuitable pyjamas,  I always buy warm pairs of wyncies for Tommy as he has a habit of throwing off his bedclothes no matter how tightly I tuck him in.

I'd selected a cosy pair of Thomas the Tank jim-jams for him to wear that night, they are one of my proudest finds because it's so difficult to find proper little boy pyjamas in his size. Mrs Matthews was delighted by the sight of his pyjamas and commented to Tommy that he should be appreciative that, “mummy buys you such lovely jim-jams" and that she would love her son David to have a similar pair of pyjamas. 

Tommy wanted to immediately retreat to his room but I let him know that I fully expected him to stay and play quietly with his toys until his bedtime. Of course, the rest of my guests couldn't resist the freshly bathed, nappied boy playing on the floor in his pyjamas so he spent much of the evening being patted on the bottom and cuddled in their laps. Eventually, I came back from preparing some snacks to find he'd fallen asleep being cradled by Mrs Bellamy. 

Instead of using a babysitter I now take him along with me to the ladies get-together and put him into his nappy and pyjamas after we arrive. More than once, much to his embarrassment, one of the ladies has volunteered to take over from me and nappy and pyjama him themselves.

When we visited Mrs Matthew’s house, Tommy and David played quietly together, my sixteen-year-old in his little boy pyjamas and her eighteen-year-old in his blue and white striped big boy pyjamas.

I couldn’t resist taking a few snaps of him  when Tommy fell asleep  being nursed and snuggled up to Mrs Bellamy's pink lambswool cardigan and the pictures were enough to convince him he wasn’t so much of a big boy at all and that he was going to stay my little boy for a long time to come.

Mrs P Cranford.

Dear Mrs Cranford

Thank you for your most delightful and informative letter. I fully commend you on your desire to protect little Tommy by keeping him snugly attired in nappies and pyjamas. May I suggest that you further maintain his obedient behaviour by infantilising his name to Tommykins or something similarly demeaning and perhaps dressing him in a sailor suit with very short trousers for trips outside. Also, please ask Mrs Matthews to send us an account of a day in the life of her son David, as I am sure our readers would be interested in learning how she manages to enforce and maintain a nine o’clock bedtime for her 
eighteen-year-old.

Nanny Smackbottom