A Nanny Smackbottom letter from the extremely rare very first edition of PPM. (Images were provided by the management)

Dear Nanny Smackbottom

Please accept my thanks for your help in turning my husband Peter into a delightful little babykins, these days he is completely unrecognisable from the unruly spoilt brat he once was.

I have followed your advice to the letter. At 5 pm exactly I run his bath and lay out his pyjamas. Last night he wore the yellow bunny rabbit pyjamas that you thoughtfully recommended for him. After his bath I soon had him dressed ready for bed. Once he is wearing his jim-jams he must, as you recommend, be addressed by and answer only to his baby name.

It was great fun, each of us devising a name and as you advised, we ended up putting them into a hat and making him "choose" his own baby name. Peter Pee-pee pants, Lindy Lollipops and Susie Sugar Plum were all excellent but my mother's suggestion, Peterkins Pyjamakins was the one that came out of the hat. (His baby bonnet actually).

At first, he was quite reluctant to answer to his baby name but luckily my mother spent twenty minutes with him draped over her lap while she persuaded him otherwise. Mother only has to take off one of her pink furry slippers and he rushes into my arms, fearful of yet another nursery style spanking squirming helplessly on “nanny’s” lap.

"Is Peterkins Pyjamakins fwightened of Mrs Slipper den?" She will tease, laughing as he clings babyishly to me while she brandishes her slipper mischievously.

My sister never misses a chance to tease him either. She called at 5.30 last night when of course he was already dressed for beddy-byes.

"Oh look at the ickle baby in his pwetty jim-jams, whoever could it be? Tell Aunty Susan what your name is sweetheart?" She asked.

He shuffled his bunny-slippered feet and turned beetroot red and just stared at the floor but Susan was prepared to persevere to get the response she wanted.

She placed her finger under his chin and made him look at her.

“Come along now, be a good little boy for Aunty Susan, tell me what your name is and I shall give you lots of hugs and kisses as a reward.”

My husband ‘s voice was barely audible as he whispered. "My name is Peterkins Pyjamakins Aunty Susan."

"Oh dear, Aunty Susan knows you can do better than that, I could hardly hear you and Nanny certainly couldn’t. Let's try again shall we?"

His eyes flickered from me to my mother. "Mummy and Nanny can't help you, now, what is your name?"

Finally, even though his voice was breaking with emotion, he blurted out quite clearly.

"Please, Aunty Susan my name is Peterkins Pyjamakins."

The three of us howled with laughter while my husband stood with his head bowed and looking very foolish and babyish wearing his bunny rabbit pyjamas and slippers.

After he had kissed and waved night-night to Aunty Susan and Nanny and they have fussed over him, adjusting his pyjama bottoms and smoothing down his pyjama jacket collar, I take him up to bed at 6 pm. As you so rightly suggested, Peterkins has benefited greatly from a regular bedtime.

He now sleeps in the spare bedroom. Nursery rhyme paper decorates the walls and apart from a soft pink carpet, there is only a baby cot that he easily fits into and a chair that I sit on to read bedtime stories. I make sure the curtains are tightly closed so that no chink of daylight can intrude. Of course, at first he was upset at having to go to bed at 6 pm every night but I was able to cure him of that.

One evening despite having already received a spanking for being a naughty boy at bedtime, Peterkins was still having a tantrum about having to go to beddy-byes so early.

“So be it,” I told him, “if you want to stay up you can come along.”

I took his hand and marched him outside into the garden and tethered him to the washing line by putting baby reins over his n jim-jams and left him there, unable to hide his infantile appearance.

Peterkins had nowhere to hide. Miss McPherson our neighbour spotted him over the garden fence and decided to have a little chat about his unusual choice of night attire and to admire his bunny slippers. I  calmly returned and explained that Peter was being punished with early bedtimes as his behaviour was that of a little boy.

Since then, there has rarely been a murmur of objection from him about his pyjama time and early bedtimes. If there ever is, I just have to threaten him with his baby reins and a trip out into the garden and he complies meekly“

Before bedtime, I pin him into his nighttimes nappies. Since you recommend two baby bottles of milk at bedtime it has become essential that he is securely encased in his nappies and protected with plastic pants.

Once he is safely tucked into bed I pin the ribbon attached to his dummy to his pyjamas and pop the dummy into his mouth. These day's he accepts it quite readily and there is no need to tie it in place. I tuck his Teddy Bear Mr Flopsy, in beside him and spend ten minutes reading from his book of bedtime stories that my mother thoughtfully bought for his birthday until his eyes begin to flutter drowsily.

Then, it's light out and off to sleepy-byes for Peterkins Pyjamakins.
As you suggested, at the weekend he is punished for any misbehaviour with over the knee spankings, dressed in his pyjamas and put to bed immediately regardless of the time of day.

Often on a Sunday when I return from my afternoon round of golf, I am met by my mother dealing with a spanked, tearful, and pyjama clad Peterkins begging not to be put to bed at such before tea-time. Of course, his pleadings are ignored and on these occasions, I always follow your advice not to overrule any decision made by my mother or sister or indeed any female who has reason to discipline Peterkins Pyjamakins.

Mrs Harcourt


Dear Mrs Harcourt

Congratulations, your letter is the first to be published in Pyjama Punishment Monthly, our new publication that aims to educate and inform women of all ages about the benefits of Pyjama and Early Bedtime Discipline. 

The meeting we had over tea and your delicious homemade cakes where we determined your strategy was most enjoyable. Perhaps you could now teach Peterkins Pyjamakins to bake fairy cakes for us? 

I am very pleased you took my advice on how to proceed with the transformation of your husband into a contrite and obedient little boy and I must congratulate you on your choice of name for him, although all the suggestions were excellent, Peterkins Pyjamakins is definitely the most appropriate. Including your mother and sister in his initial training is another excellent idea as the more dominant women in his life to maintain and enforce his new way of life the better. 

Don't forget to be consistent in your approach by maintaining discipline and not giving into his pleading to be dealt with in a less infantile manner. Remember, all men remain babies and little boys at heart, so you must be firm continuing with regular spankings, infantile pyjamas and early bedtimes and you will soon be rewarded with a docile and compliant Peterkins.

Please write again soon with an update on his progress.

Nanny Smackbottom