Two mummies discuss their husbands new status (Drawing by Dave Lomas)

Mrs Drummond met Mrs Hardcastle just as she was leaving the Trendy House.
"Hello, isn't this shop a godsend? It's great to be able to get all our husbands things so easily?"


Mrs Hardcastle nodded enthusiastically. "I know, I've just been to get Reginald these baby reins, he's always trying to duck out of sight when we're out walking, it's ever since I turned him into my little girl that he's become ever so shy, haven't you mummy's pwecious?"


Mrs Hardcastle pinched her husband's cheek," say hello to Mrs Drummond and Arthur, there's a good girl."


Despite his wife's words dripping with infantile sweetness, Reginald felt the crotch strap of his new baby reins tighten as she spoke. He winced, then spoke girlishly softly as he was expected to. "Hewoo," he lisped shyly.


"What a lovely little girl you make Reginald, much more polite than you were before mummy took control of your life."


Mrs Hardcastle beamed in delight at the praise she received, "but what about you Mrs Drummond?" She leaned forward into the pushchair and tickled Arthur under the chin and adjusted the knitted bonnet that was fastened around his head.


"He's such a sweetie, how old is your husband now?"


It was Mrs Drummond's turn to feel pleased. "Oh he's still three years old, I think i'll keep him that age for the foreseeable future, it's a pleasure to look after him at this age, especially after all the trouble he caused as a big boy."


Reginald's mummy looked thoughtful. "Hmm, you know it might be worth regressing you to three years old too sweetmeats, I can just see you in your pushchair feeding the duckies in the pond."


"Well I can thoroughly recommend it," Mrs Drummond went on, Arthur is potty trained apart from the odd night, a night time nappy takes care of that, after all I do put him to bed at 6 pm every night."


"Oh that's nice and early, Reginald doesn't go to bed until 8.30 do you?"
Reginald shuffled his rubber booted feet uncomfortably, "no mummy."


"Goodness that's very late for a little girl, in fact, as soon as we get home I will bath Arthur and put him into his pyjamas so he can be tucked straight into beddy-byes come 6 o'clock."


Mrs Drummond bent down and re-tied her husband's baby bonnet and mittens, "well say night-night to Reginald and his mummy darling, it's time my little soldier was in his jimmy-jams."


Arthur appeared reluctant at first but a comment from his wife about a smacked botty at bedtime quickly changed his mind. "Night-night," he murmured waving a mittened hand as his wife wheeled him home to an early bedtime.


Mrs Hardcastle pulled hard on her husband's baby reins, "come along sweetie-pie let's get you home, I've got some decisions to make about your future."