Dear Pyjama Punishment Monthly
I would like to express my admiration for your magazine; it certainly shows what can be achieved when determined women put their mind to it. One thing puzzles me however: where do people acquire these magnificent dresses and baby outfits, which they seem to own in abundance? I have developed a much less elaborate, and cheaper way of disciplining my young lodger, whilst still reducing him to a babyish state that humiliates him into total obedience.
When Timothy first came to stay with me he was untidy, rude and undisciplined. I warned him several times of the consequences if he did not mend his ways, but he continued to misbehave. Eventually my patience snapped when he refused to do his college work in order to watch football on television. I switched off the set, hauled him over my lap and soundly spanked his bottom. Timothy was a small, immature boy, and physically he was no match for me. He begged me to stop spanking him, but I was determined to end his slovenly behaviour.
I stripped off his clothes, explaining that naughty boys aren’t allowed to dress and undress themselves. Then I dressed him in a pair of delightfully childish pyjamas, yellow winceyette, with a nursery print motif, which I had sewn for myself to wear at a fancy dress party. How Timothy cried as I buttoned up the jacket, and tucked it into the waistband of the trousers! They were too large for him, but I told him he would have to grow into them like other little boys.
The change in Timmytums, (his baby name), was almost immediate, wearing his babyish pyjamas he tidies his room, helps clear up after supper, and is generally a much better behaved little boy, concentrating more on his studies than football.
I get Timmytums ready for bed at 4.00 every evening without fail. Luckily, pyjamas are a simple pattern to sew, and I have made him quite a selection of pyjamas, all in winceyette and extremely infantile in appearance. Friends come around for whist on Saturdays and I make sure Timmytums is ready for beddy-byes dressed in his pyjamas before they arrive at 3pm. They love to watch as I make him serve us tea wearing his babyish pyjamas. He gets lots of hugs and cuddles but sometimes forgets his manners and he has to go over my knee for a spanking. I then pop a babies dummy into his mouth to soothe him and have one of my friends, usually Miss Fanshawe, nurse him on her lap while he quietly sucks his dummy.
At 5 o'clock he must give everyone a goodnight kiss and I take him to bed. I tuck him in under his Thomas the Tank Engine duvet, and tell him what a good little boy he is.
I would recommend the use of babyish pyjamas to anyone who wishes to discipline males cheaply and effectively, as long as they follow these general guidelines.
* Always ensure baby's jim-jams are suitably childish or feminine, and slightly too large. Sometimes I put Timmytums into a pink floral pair of pyjamas if he is especially naughty.
* Spankings should be rare, and performed in front of guests for maximum humiliation. A few slaps on a pyjama-clad bottom will suffice.
* Choose a time for the putting on of pyjamas and stay true to it, and the same rule for bedtime. I once wiped the smile from Timmytums face by pulling a pair of Peter Rabbit winceyette pyjamas from my bag for him to wear when I lingered too long at a neighbour's house.
* Finally, always make sure chores and duties around the house are completed by him whilst wearing pyjamas, to emphasise your superior female position.
Miss Helen Good.
My congratulations on your success with Timmytums; your letter is one of the most delightful and instructive that I have ever read about the successful application of petticoating techniques. Might I suggest a pretty be-flounced pinafore for Timmy whilst he is doing his housework? I am sure that you have the skills to make one.
I have often pointed out that petticoat discipline need not be expensive, and I think that your technique is brilliant. Mothers and wives should follow your advice to the letter: make the material soft and cuddly (winceyette is excellent), the colours and patterns feminine and childish, and the pyjamas too large, which definitely adds a babyish touch.
Housework should be done in pyjamas, perhaps protected by a pinafore, and perhaps your little man could wear a pair of bunny rabbit slippers too, although they would have to be especially made.